Going to the chapel & we're gonna get married....

"You make it hard to be afraid of the future"

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED, EVERYONE!!!!! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T STOP POSTING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!! JOSE IS GOING TO BE MY HUSBAND AND I AM GOING TO BE HIS WIFE!! I'M STILL IN SHOCK BUT SOOOO HAPPY!!

Okay, okay, you deserve the whole story since one of my greatest dreams came true. Alright, here goes:

I should have known something was up when Jose said he had Saturday off. If you know him, then you probably know he works with a bunch of buttholes who never let him take Saturday off. He's missed a few special gatherings because he couldn't get the day off. So he asks me what I want to do and I suggest hitting up a beach and checking out the sunset. He agrees and almost immediately suggests going to Palos Verdes beach to check out the waves and sea slugs. Hmm. Okay. I agree and off we go.

Driving to the beach was a pain and a half with all the traffic and certain freeways being closed. We exited early and took a LONG time driving through some shitty neighborhoods to get to the beach. But finally, we wound up in the nice beach communities and stopped to pee at McDonald's. It wasn't long before we were cruising along PCH (Pacific Coast Highway). I kept remarking how beautiful the ocean looked. It was still 5 miles till Palos Verdes when we both noticed how AMAZING the sunset was starting to look at Paradise Cove. Jose tells me to make a U-turn where it's safe and we can hang out there. We lay down some towels and he sets up his tripod. He wants to interview on camera and I'm like "uhmm okay?" and we start on all these cute questions about relationships and future goals. .The interview is happening and I notice the sun is starting to set so I ask if he wants to stop the tape and start taking some pictures. He says sure but first he wants to something else. I laugh because I see him take out a plastic baggie. What are we going to do? Smoke some weed to coincide with the beautiful sunset? BUT NO! He's putting the ring in one of these little infinity light up boxes he makes for jewelry. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY OWN EYES! He asks me to marry him and I fall down on the ground where he's at. OF COURSE I SAID YES!!!!! I can feel how hard his heart is beating. We stay to watch the rest of the sunset and we're both just talking so much. It's all so wonderful! We drive back to civilization so we can have dinner and call our families. I feel like I'm floating on air!!!!!!

It turns out Jose asked my mom on Friday for her blessing and he said he was more scared to ask her than he was to ask me hahahaha. He showed her the ring and she was so emotional. 

This is the happiest I think I've ever been in my life! I am looking forward to planning our wedding but most of all, planning out our amazing marriage. Here comes happily ever after! 

I love Jose so much, it feels like my heart will burst at any moment. You think you know what perfection will look like inside your dreams and fantasies, but Jose has exceeded that. He has gone beyond anything I could have come up with in my imagination. I made a wish a long, long time ago that I hoped the next person I would fall in love with would be my husband, that he would be nice and considerate. I just wanted the bare minimum of a good person. I could not have thought that my future husband would be all that and more. Even just typing this, I can feel my eyes wanting to cry from sheer joy: Jose is not just nice....he's sweet, gentle and helpful. Jose is not just a good person....he's responsible, thoughtful and kind. He is my friend, he is my lover, he is my partner, he is my confidant and my cheerleader in this life. I am happy to spend the rest of my life being the same for him. He has a piece of my soul and a piece of my heart. Together, we are going to do amazing things. SAUCEDO WEDDING COMING IN 2017! GET READY!!!!!!!! :)

I wanna give you the world like it was mine to share...

Life is happening so fast that I forget sometimes I need to update this thing. I keep this journal not only to document the good times, but to also reflect on the bad times. What I wanted was a record of how I have grown as a person and what I have learned about the meaning of love. I guess I was naive and thought life only moved forward in one direction, like a linear story I would tell my children or grand children. But living (and loving) Jose has taught me that life does not work that way. I can scarcely keep up with the way the future is growing because it does NOT go in a straight line. I quickly learned that life explodes and unfolds like a flower. It bursts and moves in all sorts of direction, spreading this way and that way. There's the story of me and Jose, then Jose - me - our cat, then my life with my mom and family, Jose's family, our friends and their significant others, our friends kids, work friends, and on and on. Here's one thread unwinding and moving in this direction and then there's another thread branching out. So forgive me if I forget for months at a time that I wanted to in my small way write all of this down.

One special piece of news: Jose has a niece! His sister Elizabeth had her second child, a little girl named Olivia :)

Baby fever has hit an all-time high!! She's a cutie and I look forward to watching Olivia grow up. We've added another thread to the story.

Also, we went to a huge concert a couple of weekends ago to see a bunch of Rhymesayers Records artists which included Atmosphere, Jose's favorite hip hop group. His brother Cas tagged along and we were so lucky to meet the rapper Slug (real name: Sean Daley)! He was so nice! And incredibly tall. The boys were blown away and at a loss for words. Jose couldn't even look Slug in the face, he was so star struck. Cas could barely get his words out. I had a permanent smile on my face for the rest of the day. The show was incredible and has been by far the best rap show I've ever been to. I guess it's no secret that I am also now a huge Atmosphere fan since Jose introduced me to their music 4 years ago. I love the lyrics, the soulful beats Slug raps over and how relatable their music can be.

So I guess you could say, life has been good. We've hit a couple of snags here and there but nothing that we couldn't work out. I'm continually excited to see where all the threads of my life might lead. I promise to hurry up and try to write as much of it down as I can :)