"He's the opposite of every guy I've ever dated before...of every boyfriend I've ever had...and that's exactly what I needed.." I tell my girlfriends last night.
I could sit here and type out all these idiosyncrasies about him, all these habits, routines and quirks about him that I have observed these past few months but then I'd just be bragging. I'd be trying to prove to myself or to who's reading what we already know. Jose is a great guy. He's rare and in his rarity, he's ideal. Instead of worrying that I'll scare him off, I just hope that he'll understand my flaws and we can continue to grow together. I feel good about myself. Better than I had in previous years. My future is no longer unknown, dark or muddy. I used to panic that I could never get past certain people in my life, that I could never live without whatever I needed at that moment from that specific person. Instead, my future is regaining focus, it's sharpening rapidly. I can see myself one day becoming a wife and maybe a mother. I no longer worry that love will not find me. I found love in a normal, natural and organic way. I found Jose and instead of feeling like he saved me, I felt like I turned a new page in the crazy book that is to be my life. I didn't "gain" meaning because of him. I just added a new definition to myself. I feel like I am more now. Does that make sense? Well, it makes perfect sense to me :D
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