I was bored at work so I made a list of all the things that make me attracted to guys...and what makes me unattracted. All men (because I'm getting sick of boys!) who fit the parameters should apply!
Turns Ons:
• Having a good job/career that pays moderately well and has room for growth.
• Owning a car (unless he lives somewhere where you don’t need it)
• Sense of humor
• Well-groomed
• Sideburns/facial hair
• Should be tall, at least taller than me
• Should have friends and be nice to his family
• Tattoos
• Good with his hands, especially at fixing cars or household stuff
Turns Offs:
• Having kids
• Married previously or had a long list of ex-girlfriends
• Bad breath, especially cigarette breath
• Not college educated
• Lazy and/or unmotivated
• Likes country music
• Being a Republican
• Wears skinny jeans
• Hipsters
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Holding on to what I haven’t got...
I saved all the texts I exchanged with Alfonso while preparing to go to Boston and then when I was actually there...Why? Because I'm sad and pathetic...I don't know what else to do with them...ughhh, get this demon crush out of me God!
Me: Hey it’s [me]!! Can’t believe I’ll be in Boston in 2 weeks.
Alfonso: hey. More like a week or so =P . It should be a really nice weekend too!
Me: Did I type 2 weeks? What a dummy. Yes, 1 week exactly. Beyond stoked. Whoo!!
Me: Landed here in Boston a few minutes ago. Wanna see u Sunday nite unless you wanna do something sooner. Let me know!
Alfonso: welcome! I’ll be free tmrw eve and all of Sunday. Maybe sat eve too. R u & ur friend planning on crashing at my place sun night? Let me know if u need venue ideas.
Me: Unless she tells me different, yeah we plan on crashing with u Sunday evening. I shall be in touch. I welcome any venue ideas u might have!
Alfonso: awesome. Well, say u wanna get some mex food before the sox game, I can guide you to some in Kenmore Sq. or say ure in Allston and wanna get smashed. I can guide u!
Me: I definitely wanna get smashed in this city. I got a streak going I think after the sox game on Saturday nite? Hopefully we can meet up then before Sunday.
Me: So we get out of the game tonight around 8 pm. Wanna hang out afterwards? Let me know if u can. We will be at the prudential center.
Alfonso: hey. That sounds good. I’m a little under the weather, but I’m still gonna try to make it. ttul
Me: Cool, we will head over to the pru directly after the game. Hope to see ya.
Me: Leaving Fenway and slowly wading thru the crowd to catch the T over to the pru. Call me when ur close.
Alfonso: im headed out in a few. Be there in like 20 or so. What are we gonna do at the pru? I think otherside café is on Mass Ave. and newbury is a good place to go.
Me: the person we are staying with works at pru and gets off at 10 pm. We want to hang out there with u, kill time, etc.
Alfonso: Ah, I see. Cool. See u there in a bit.
Me: Cool. We are there now, at the mall in the pru. Just wandering around. Our friend works at the body shop.
Alfonso: hey, missed the first bus but I’ll be there in a few. Where in the pru are u? What store are u near?
Me: We are at the mall, inside the body shop.
Alfonso: k
Me: What is your stop on the T? We’re getting ready to head back to Davis and grab our stuff before heading to your place.
(he called me on the phone)
Me: So we’re running late (again). We’re packing up here in Davis now, then walking to the T. Give us another 45 mins. Sorry!!
Alfonso: No worries. It’s totally fine.
Me: We still had to take that bloody shuttle bus….jumping on the red line now to connect to the orange. The T does not love us.
Me: Next stop is your stop. See ya in a bit.
Me: Hey it’s [me]!! Can’t believe I’ll be in Boston in 2 weeks.
Alfonso: hey. More like a week or so =P . It should be a really nice weekend too!
Me: Did I type 2 weeks? What a dummy. Yes, 1 week exactly. Beyond stoked. Whoo!!
Me: Landed here in Boston a few minutes ago. Wanna see u Sunday nite unless you wanna do something sooner. Let me know!
Alfonso: welcome! I’ll be free tmrw eve and all of Sunday. Maybe sat eve too. R u & ur friend planning on crashing at my place sun night? Let me know if u need venue ideas.
Me: Unless she tells me different, yeah we plan on crashing with u Sunday evening. I shall be in touch. I welcome any venue ideas u might have!
Alfonso: awesome. Well, say u wanna get some mex food before the sox game, I can guide you to some in Kenmore Sq. or say ure in Allston and wanna get smashed. I can guide u!
Me: I definitely wanna get smashed in this city. I got a streak going I think after the sox game on Saturday nite? Hopefully we can meet up then before Sunday.
Me: So we get out of the game tonight around 8 pm. Wanna hang out afterwards? Let me know if u can. We will be at the prudential center.
Alfonso: hey. That sounds good. I’m a little under the weather, but I’m still gonna try to make it. ttul
Me: Cool, we will head over to the pru directly after the game. Hope to see ya.
Me: Leaving Fenway and slowly wading thru the crowd to catch the T over to the pru. Call me when ur close.
Alfonso: im headed out in a few. Be there in like 20 or so. What are we gonna do at the pru? I think otherside café is on Mass Ave. and newbury is a good place to go.
Me: the person we are staying with works at pru and gets off at 10 pm. We want to hang out there with u, kill time, etc.
Alfonso: Ah, I see. Cool. See u there in a bit.
Me: Cool. We are there now, at the mall in the pru. Just wandering around. Our friend works at the body shop.
Alfonso: hey, missed the first bus but I’ll be there in a few. Where in the pru are u? What store are u near?
Me: We are at the mall, inside the body shop.
Alfonso: k
Me: What is your stop on the T? We’re getting ready to head back to Davis and grab our stuff before heading to your place.
(he called me on the phone)
Me: So we’re running late (again). We’re packing up here in Davis now, then walking to the T. Give us another 45 mins. Sorry!!
Alfonso: No worries. It’s totally fine.
Me: We still had to take that bloody shuttle bus….jumping on the red line now to connect to the orange. The T does not love us.
Me: Next stop is your stop. See ya in a bit.
The hardest part of ending is starting again...
Conversations with Paul...
Me: And how are you?
Paul: Doing pretty well: taking classes, going to many of them, attracting the ladies. You know? The standard stuff.
Me: lol. You should have no problem attracting the ladies. You are just too cute.
Paul: Yep. And I've got the good fortune to have a girlfriend who understands this problem and supports me in dealing with it :D
Me: lol....you are cursed with such good luck. Poor Paul.
Paul: Yep. Ah well, life is hard. We must make the best of it. Besides, you're not so poorly off yourself.
Me: Oh why's that? lol
Paul: Well endowed, beautiful, smart. You know, all the things a guy looks for.
Me: Oh Mister Paul. Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE :)
Paul: I truly believe so, especially when it's true ^_~
Me: And how are you?
Paul: Doing pretty well: taking classes, going to many of them, attracting the ladies. You know? The standard stuff.
Me: lol. You should have no problem attracting the ladies. You are just too cute.
Paul: Yep. And I've got the good fortune to have a girlfriend who understands this problem and supports me in dealing with it :D
Me: lol....you are cursed with such good luck. Poor Paul.
Paul: Yep. Ah well, life is hard. We must make the best of it. Besides, you're not so poorly off yourself.
Me: Oh why's that? lol
Paul: Well endowed, beautiful, smart. You know, all the things a guy looks for.
Me: Oh Mister Paul. Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE :)
Paul: I truly believe so, especially when it's true ^_~
Monday, September 13, 2010
And if it was mine to say, I wouldn't speak….
So this is fall?
Friday afternoon I solidified plans with Andrew the EMT…:
Me: I see we’ve planned to hang out tomorrow…is that still on? If so, what time and what did you have in mind?
Andrew: I’m thinking somewhere in Old Town Pasadena…there are a few bars down there.
Me: Sweet. You coming to pick me up or are we gonna meet there? More importantly, will you be coming in the ambulance? LOL!
Andrew: I’m in it right now lol would you mind meeting me there? Maybe around 9:30-ish? Bar hopping!
Me: 9:30 tomorrow it is. Just let me know what bar you’ll be at. Hope you’re not texting and driving. Make the dead guy in the back do it.
Andrew: LMAO, oh he WILL do it. No doubt about it…and yes I will let you know what bar I will be at.
See? Sounds fun, right? My friend Reina texted me for good luck and mentioned that our other friend Ana was nervous for me. Even Paul chimed in over FB chat and wished me well on my date. I spent all of Saturday lounging around my house, mulling over this ridiculous date and how I wasn’t even really interested…at the very least, I’d get some good laughs in and a few free drinks. No harm, no foul.
9 pm rolls its ugly head around and I fire a text:
Me: So what bar do you want to meet at? I’m getting ready to head out in a few.
Andrew: Hey not sure if you got my text earlier but unfortunately my cousin passed away late last night and I’m with my family. I’m really sorry about this.
Me: Wow….obviously I did not. Holy shit: I’m really sorry to hear that. Hang in there man, I know you just lost your grandpa. My deepest sympathies to your family.
Andrew: Thank you. It’s hard right now for us all. Thank you for understanding. It’s too much right now.
WHAT?!?! HIS FUCKING COUSIN DIED?!? Ughhh…depression sinks in. Depression leads to desperation…..desperation leads to Edgar….Edgar leads to no willpower…no willpower leads to pathetic texts:
Me: Well, there goes my Saturday night. Date just canceled on me because his cousin died. Want a study break tonight?
Edgar: That sucks. I would love to but I am at dinner.
Me: What about after? I’m gonna go get dinner too and drown my sorrows in beer. Sucking your dick later tonight would cheer me up.
Naturally, he never responded. Either because I’ve sufficiently freaked him out or he’s a coward…either way, I didn’t care and added this to Edgar’s ever-growing loss column. I ended up having a shitty night with only two of the four bars I visited being open (one was not open to the public because of a private party and the second had about 10 police cars parked in front of it). I stumbled home around 1 am, reeking of cigars. Thanks Havana House! Ughhh.
And to top it off, I spent most of the weekend avoiding the eternal nuisance that is Jason Hunt.
Quick recap: Jason was a guy I hooked up with in 2004 when I still thought blowjobs were intimate and special. I was visiting his friend (and my super crush) Sean in New York City. After being rejected soundly, (Sean had a girlfriend he hated but not enough to cheat on) I decided to chat it up with Jay and proceeded to give him a pretty clumsy blowjob in the front seat of his car. I still trace this back to the moment in my life where I fell in love with sucking dick. It was exhilarating, totally unlike me and incredibly reckless. I think he and I talked once or twice about it when I returned back home but I quickly grew bored of him once he made it clear that’s ALL he ever wanted to talk about. Six years later, he’s still as sleazy and immature. We caught each other on FB chat and discussed what we were up to in life. It only took a few minutes before he was begging to come visit me so he could “bang that ass.” I entertained the idea for about a day before I decided once and for all this guy was an idiot and there was no way in hell I’d be spending ANY time or money on his stupid butt. I didn’t even think he was cute anymore! Yuck….and did I mention he’s as dumb as rocks? His only redeeming factor is he loves the Deftones as much as I do.
This had better not be overall theme of the fall season: dead people and gross guys coming after me. I had enough disappointment this summer; I don’t need it seeping into the next chapter of my life.
I still think (read: fantasize) about Alfonso a million times a day. But I’ve gotten better! I don’t think I’ll be saving my last vacation day of the year to visit Boston….I might use that for Reina’s birthday weekend in Vegas next month. I’m trying to stay realistic here. But it’s so hard when he embodies so much of what I want……I don’t think I’ll be satisfied until he rejects me completely and thoroughly.
Why can’t I just get over him? Why can’t I just knock him out of my heart? I need this persisting crush to just go away as quickly as it came because I know it won’t lead to a happy ending. They never do.
p.s. this is currently my favorite picture of him....it's his profile pic on FB...I've spent far too many minutes staring at it and feeling unhappy when the giddiness fades.
Friday afternoon I solidified plans with Andrew the EMT…:
Me: I see we’ve planned to hang out tomorrow…is that still on? If so, what time and what did you have in mind?
Andrew: I’m thinking somewhere in Old Town Pasadena…there are a few bars down there.
Me: Sweet. You coming to pick me up or are we gonna meet there? More importantly, will you be coming in the ambulance? LOL!
Andrew: I’m in it right now lol would you mind meeting me there? Maybe around 9:30-ish? Bar hopping!
Me: 9:30 tomorrow it is. Just let me know what bar you’ll be at. Hope you’re not texting and driving. Make the dead guy in the back do it.
Andrew: LMAO, oh he WILL do it. No doubt about it…and yes I will let you know what bar I will be at.
See? Sounds fun, right? My friend Reina texted me for good luck and mentioned that our other friend Ana was nervous for me. Even Paul chimed in over FB chat and wished me well on my date. I spent all of Saturday lounging around my house, mulling over this ridiculous date and how I wasn’t even really interested…at the very least, I’d get some good laughs in and a few free drinks. No harm, no foul.
9 pm rolls its ugly head around and I fire a text:
Me: So what bar do you want to meet at? I’m getting ready to head out in a few.
Andrew: Hey not sure if you got my text earlier but unfortunately my cousin passed away late last night and I’m with my family. I’m really sorry about this.
Me: Wow….obviously I did not. Holy shit: I’m really sorry to hear that. Hang in there man, I know you just lost your grandpa. My deepest sympathies to your family.
Andrew: Thank you. It’s hard right now for us all. Thank you for understanding. It’s too much right now.
WHAT?!?! HIS FUCKING COUSIN DIED?!? Ughhh…depression sinks in. Depression leads to desperation…..desperation leads to Edgar….Edgar leads to no willpower…no willpower leads to pathetic texts:
Me: Well, there goes my Saturday night. Date just canceled on me because his cousin died. Want a study break tonight?
Edgar: That sucks. I would love to but I am at dinner.
Me: What about after? I’m gonna go get dinner too and drown my sorrows in beer. Sucking your dick later tonight would cheer me up.
Naturally, he never responded. Either because I’ve sufficiently freaked him out or he’s a coward…either way, I didn’t care and added this to Edgar’s ever-growing loss column. I ended up having a shitty night with only two of the four bars I visited being open (one was not open to the public because of a private party and the second had about 10 police cars parked in front of it). I stumbled home around 1 am, reeking of cigars. Thanks Havana House! Ughhh.
And to top it off, I spent most of the weekend avoiding the eternal nuisance that is Jason Hunt.
Quick recap: Jason was a guy I hooked up with in 2004 when I still thought blowjobs were intimate and special. I was visiting his friend (and my super crush) Sean in New York City. After being rejected soundly, (Sean had a girlfriend he hated but not enough to cheat on) I decided to chat it up with Jay and proceeded to give him a pretty clumsy blowjob in the front seat of his car. I still trace this back to the moment in my life where I fell in love with sucking dick. It was exhilarating, totally unlike me and incredibly reckless. I think he and I talked once or twice about it when I returned back home but I quickly grew bored of him once he made it clear that’s ALL he ever wanted to talk about. Six years later, he’s still as sleazy and immature. We caught each other on FB chat and discussed what we were up to in life. It only took a few minutes before he was begging to come visit me so he could “bang that ass.” I entertained the idea for about a day before I decided once and for all this guy was an idiot and there was no way in hell I’d be spending ANY time or money on his stupid butt. I didn’t even think he was cute anymore! Yuck….and did I mention he’s as dumb as rocks? His only redeeming factor is he loves the Deftones as much as I do.
This had better not be overall theme of the fall season: dead people and gross guys coming after me. I had enough disappointment this summer; I don’t need it seeping into the next chapter of my life.
I still think (read: fantasize) about Alfonso a million times a day. But I’ve gotten better! I don’t think I’ll be saving my last vacation day of the year to visit Boston….I might use that for Reina’s birthday weekend in Vegas next month. I’m trying to stay realistic here. But it’s so hard when he embodies so much of what I want……I don’t think I’ll be satisfied until he rejects me completely and thoroughly.
Why can’t I just get over him? Why can’t I just knock him out of my heart? I need this persisting crush to just go away as quickly as it came because I know it won’t lead to a happy ending. They never do.
p.s. this is currently my favorite picture of him....it's his profile pic on FB...I've spent far too many minutes staring at it and feeling unhappy when the giddiness fades.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Come outside and breathe in…relax your arms and let me in…
Labor Day weekend has come and gone which means the summer is essentially over. It has been an eventful summer thus far and I really wish it wouldn’t end….but all good things must come to a close….
Thursday night I hopped on Facebook to check my messages and continue my exhaustive stalking of Alfonso when I saw my friend Andrew was available to chat. I wanted to see how he was doing since he works as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) and had also recently lost his grandfather. We made some nice small talk and there came a point in the conversation where I asked about all the horror stories he must see on the job…and well…then this happened:
Me: Well, one of these days we should hang out...I wanna hear stories. I watch Rescue Me. It’s about firefighters. I need to bust some myths about the job.
Andrew: Please do. Hanging out should be cool. Let’s do it. We should next weekend after I come back from Laughlin: what do u say???
Me: Sure thing....September 11th is a Saturday. What do you say? It’s America’s anniversary of the worst tragedy in history. Can't go wrong, right? :)
Andrew: Why not? I like your thinking...how ironic it’s on that date and you will be hearing stories from someone in the EMS field. I love it.
Me: You can’t make this kinda shit up.
Andrew: I should say, I love it that we'll be hanging out :) I need to go out. August was by far one of the crappiest months ever for me. I’m glad I made it lol
Me: well, let's celebrate. Fuck August. September will be better.
So, out of nowhere, I got asked out on a date. So much for summer winding down, right? Well, I’ll count this as part of the fall season. I’m not particularly attracted to Andrew but he’s very witty and I need to hang out with a guy who actually WANTS to see me. We exchanged digits and he threatened/promised to bug me with texts over the long weekend while he was vacationing in Laughlin. I thought “Yeah right whatever” since I am now accustomed to guys promising to keep in touch and blowing me off like it’s something fun to do. I didn’t pay much mind to him the whole weekend but instead focused on having a blast with my friend Sandy while watching my favorite band, The Sweet & Tender Hooligans, perform in Hermosa Beach. I was in new wave heaven with a face full of lead singer Jose’s crotch during “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” when I check my phone and see a message from Andrew.
Andrew: “There is a light that never goes out…take me anywhere I don’t care, I don’t care.”
Me: They’re doing that song right now!!! You’re good. :)
Andrew: I’m good and buzzed lol Drinks on [you], just kidding….
Me: Haha!! Enjoy Laughlin, see ya later.
Not sure what he meant to say in that last text but I just chalked it up to drunken texting. I had a good laugh about it….especially since he quoted the song lyrics wrong. Oh well. We’ll give him an “A” for effort.
I’m trying to stay in reality. I’m trying to be the best person I can right now and not sell myself short. On Friday afternoon I went to confession at my church and sat in the pews with my heart racing. I had stopped taking communion last year when I moved out with Dan. I don’t think it’s very appropriate in my religion to live in sin with your boyfriend and take the holy sacrament, so out of respect I stopped receiving it but still attended church somewhat regularly. Now here we are a year later and I need to confess to God and my priest what I’ve been doing this whole time in order to start taking communion again. Father Penaloza was the only priest on duty, which was killing me because I know he’s kind of old school and a little ornery. I sat there worried, my mind a myriad of all the different approaches I could take to explain my situation. I tried hashing it all out in my head, hoping that my favorite priest Father Enrique would show up….when all of a sudden, I see him emerge from behind the altar and ask who’s next to take confession (it’s a sign?! GOD HEARD ME?). I felt myself stand up like a robot and walk over to him. And then I let it all out: the live-in boyfriend situation, the decision to stop taking communion and not attending mass, the drugs, the lying, the cheating….and most importantly, all the grief and disappointed I put on my own mother. I was forgiven, asked to offer an act of contrition to God and say a prayer. Tears welled in my eyes but this time they weren’t because of sadness or anger….they were of relief and maybe a little joy. I took communion and wine this Sunday at mass and never felt better, despite how bitter the wine might have tasted.
Every week life feels like it’s getting better and better. I really love this feeling of renewal, of new beginnings and hope. I will not let Alfonso’s silence (which I have now accepted as scorn) bother me. He never returned my friendly text and seems to be going out with some girl named Mabel to see Broken Social Scene. It doesn’t sound like he’s going on a “date” with this girl and she appears to be a co-worker….but still, I am jealous. I really, really need to stop stalking his FB page but it’s so tempting…especially since most of his posts are interesting and I learn something else I like about him. Ughhhhh…..I’ll leave him alone for a few weeks. Can’t promise I won’t spy on his posts, though.
For now, let’s concentrate on my date this Saturday. Andrew sounds genuinely interested. Let’s see how long he’ll stay interested since I’ve already decided not to fuck him, no matter how cool/funny/nice he might turn out to be on the first date. Boning every single guy I’ve met this summer within 24 hours has helped in getting myself rejected on each and every occasion. The new and improved fall schedule will wait at least a few dates before jumping in the sack. Let’s see if a revised game plan will improve my chances of establishing a meaningful connection and staying rejection-free. Sorry Andrew. Welcome to autumn, folks!!!!
Thursday night I hopped on Facebook to check my messages and continue my exhaustive stalking of Alfonso when I saw my friend Andrew was available to chat. I wanted to see how he was doing since he works as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) and had also recently lost his grandfather. We made some nice small talk and there came a point in the conversation where I asked about all the horror stories he must see on the job…and well…then this happened:
Me: Well, one of these days we should hang out...I wanna hear stories. I watch Rescue Me. It’s about firefighters. I need to bust some myths about the job.
Andrew: Please do. Hanging out should be cool. Let’s do it. We should next weekend after I come back from Laughlin: what do u say???
Me: Sure thing....September 11th is a Saturday. What do you say? It’s America’s anniversary of the worst tragedy in history. Can't go wrong, right? :)
Andrew: Why not? I like your thinking...how ironic it’s on that date and you will be hearing stories from someone in the EMS field. I love it.
Me: You can’t make this kinda shit up.
Andrew: I should say, I love it that we'll be hanging out :) I need to go out. August was by far one of the crappiest months ever for me. I’m glad I made it lol
Me: well, let's celebrate. Fuck August. September will be better.
So, out of nowhere, I got asked out on a date. So much for summer winding down, right? Well, I’ll count this as part of the fall season. I’m not particularly attracted to Andrew but he’s very witty and I need to hang out with a guy who actually WANTS to see me. We exchanged digits and he threatened/promised to bug me with texts over the long weekend while he was vacationing in Laughlin. I thought “Yeah right whatever” since I am now accustomed to guys promising to keep in touch and blowing me off like it’s something fun to do. I didn’t pay much mind to him the whole weekend but instead focused on having a blast with my friend Sandy while watching my favorite band, The Sweet & Tender Hooligans, perform in Hermosa Beach. I was in new wave heaven with a face full of lead singer Jose’s crotch during “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” when I check my phone and see a message from Andrew.
Andrew: “There is a light that never goes out…take me anywhere I don’t care, I don’t care.”
Me: They’re doing that song right now!!! You’re good. :)
Andrew: I’m good and buzzed lol Drinks on [you], just kidding….
Me: Haha!! Enjoy Laughlin, see ya later.
Not sure what he meant to say in that last text but I just chalked it up to drunken texting. I had a good laugh about it….especially since he quoted the song lyrics wrong. Oh well. We’ll give him an “A” for effort.
I’m trying to stay in reality. I’m trying to be the best person I can right now and not sell myself short. On Friday afternoon I went to confession at my church and sat in the pews with my heart racing. I had stopped taking communion last year when I moved out with Dan. I don’t think it’s very appropriate in my religion to live in sin with your boyfriend and take the holy sacrament, so out of respect I stopped receiving it but still attended church somewhat regularly. Now here we are a year later and I need to confess to God and my priest what I’ve been doing this whole time in order to start taking communion again. Father Penaloza was the only priest on duty, which was killing me because I know he’s kind of old school and a little ornery. I sat there worried, my mind a myriad of all the different approaches I could take to explain my situation. I tried hashing it all out in my head, hoping that my favorite priest Father Enrique would show up….when all of a sudden, I see him emerge from behind the altar and ask who’s next to take confession (it’s a sign?! GOD HEARD ME?). I felt myself stand up like a robot and walk over to him. And then I let it all out: the live-in boyfriend situation, the decision to stop taking communion and not attending mass, the drugs, the lying, the cheating….and most importantly, all the grief and disappointed I put on my own mother. I was forgiven, asked to offer an act of contrition to God and say a prayer. Tears welled in my eyes but this time they weren’t because of sadness or anger….they were of relief and maybe a little joy. I took communion and wine this Sunday at mass and never felt better, despite how bitter the wine might have tasted.
Every week life feels like it’s getting better and better. I really love this feeling of renewal, of new beginnings and hope. I will not let Alfonso’s silence (which I have now accepted as scorn) bother me. He never returned my friendly text and seems to be going out with some girl named Mabel to see Broken Social Scene. It doesn’t sound like he’s going on a “date” with this girl and she appears to be a co-worker….but still, I am jealous. I really, really need to stop stalking his FB page but it’s so tempting…especially since most of his posts are interesting and I learn something else I like about him. Ughhhhh…..I’ll leave him alone for a few weeks. Can’t promise I won’t spy on his posts, though.
For now, let’s concentrate on my date this Saturday. Andrew sounds genuinely interested. Let’s see how long he’ll stay interested since I’ve already decided not to fuck him, no matter how cool/funny/nice he might turn out to be on the first date. Boning every single guy I’ve met this summer within 24 hours has helped in getting myself rejected on each and every occasion. The new and improved fall schedule will wait at least a few dates before jumping in the sack. Let’s see if a revised game plan will improve my chances of establishing a meaningful connection and staying rejection-free. Sorry Andrew. Welcome to autumn, folks!!!!
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