That is all.
No, really….I should expand.
I know better than to mess around with Dan and open up old feelings but I can’t seem to take my own advice. This has been an ongoing theme for the last few years. Oh well. Maybe someday I will learn.
For the last month or so, Dan and I have been playing around with the idea of hooking up again on the side but inevitably something would get in the way….either, some unforeseen circumstance or my own conscience. Saturday afternoon, after many explicit text message conversations (that are, by the way, far too filthy to re-post here), we met up and got a motel room in Santa Fe Springs.
It was fun being with him again! As soon as we walked into the room, I kicked off my sandals and stretched. Dan grabbed me from the waist and picked me up. We fell backwards onto the big bed and well, you can imagine the rest. I had forgotten what it was like to spend the day with him and have a good time, devoid of any bickering or petty squabbling. It was a miracle that we didn’t have one single fight. I kept expecting something to go wrong, but was relieved when it never did.
After fucking like rabbits, we cleaned up and watched a little bit of “Taken” on HBO. Then we drove to my house and I got my hair done (courtesy of my niece Valerie) while Dan clipped my new kitten’s claws. Nobody at my house thought it was unusual to see Danny again. Everyone (with the exception of my mom) has always liked him. It also helps that I’ve never said a bad word about him. We collected our stuff and took off to have an early dinner and ice cream. Our friend Reina had invited me to Hollywood to help her celebrate her birthday at the Highlands Nightclub. I asked Dan to come along as my date. He agreed and after I got ready at the motel, we drove back to his parents’ house so he could get dressed. Dan’s dad was home and didn’t act weird when he saw me. Sometimes I wonder if everyone else notices that things have changed and we’ve broken up. Hmmm.
Drinks and dancing at the Highlands was so much fun. Reina had reserved a room at the Renaissance Hotel so we could pre-game before heading down to the club. Dan handled himself well amongst all the old and new friends in the group. I am certain he made a good impression, even though he isn’t a “new” guy in my life.
We got pretty hammered and danced all night long. My feet were killing me by the end of the night. Dan took a few pictures of us on his iPhone:
There is a picture of my cleavage as Dan was having a blast looking down my dress but I will pass on posting that one.
So now I am pretty sure I don’t know what’s going on between us. We’ve entered a weird gray area. I chickened out and never had the “talk” with him about all this. (sigh) Now I am really playing with fire. I know better than to rely on nostalgia to guide my heart.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!?!?
This cannot end well.
If you ever need anything, I'm here. I understand completely.
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