The road to you is paved right through with bloody good intentions...

It’s very strange how this whole dating situation with Dan is like reverse psychology. The more I told myself to stay away, the more I wanted to be around him. It’s like my brain says DON’T TEXT HIM then my heart says BUT YOU STILL LOVE HIM and then my vagina says DUDE, YOU SHOULD FUCK.

Dan and I get along a whole lot better now that we’re broken up. No fighting, no squabbling about stupid things, no boredom, just fun and reckless abandon. It’s like the moment we separated, the air cleared up and I no longer hated him. How can separation fix things?

Well, it doesn’t.

Being apart allows us not to deal with the important, nitty-gritty adult stuff that makes a couple stronger. I think now we’re just really goofing off with each other, wasting time and proactively not evolving into a stronger unit.

Heh. I said unit.

I think sticking to the superficial, fun stuff is what will allow me to keep him as just a “friend with benefits.” Though I am afraid the more I scream at myself silently to keep him as a hook up, the more I will grow to miss him as a boyfriend. We’re already treading in relationship territory again. More on that later...but first a message from your favorite old school punkers...

Dead Kennedy’s on Friday night was fucking sick. Glad my best friend Lauren could come and join me. I think I fell in love with punk music again.

I sucked down about 4 overpriced alcoholic drinks. Somewhere toward the end of my last Cap Codder and fending off perverted old geezers, I rediscovered my cell phone and did what I do best--

Me: The Dead Kennedys have been non-stop insanity...you missed a helluva show.
Edgar: I am sitting in the lib. Fuck this sucks. So tired, bet the show rocked.
Me: Dude, “Viva Las Vegas” cover...my God. This is unreal.
Edgar: Who did you go with?
Me: Lauren was my date. Just launched into “Holiday in Cambodia” Fuckkk.
Edgar: Well, I am living vicarious through you right now.
Me: Excellent. I like that. Good luck with finals!!!

Why is it that I can only text him with courage when I’m drunk? This is why my phone needs to be confiscated after 3+ drinks. I am not kidding.

So, Dan and I swiftly drifted back into familiar waters this past week. Saturday night he and I went to see comedian Daniel Tosh. We had dinner at Tommy’s, laughed our asses off during Tosh’s set, made out in my car and then proceeded to hook up. Plenty of third base action, which is never unwelcome. Sigh!

You’d think we’d stop there...but then I got all dolled up and joined Dan at his company’s annual Christmas party in Malibu. One weird thing that happened: as I was frantically getting ready, I found a wallet sized photo in one of my shoe boxes of Dan and I at our winter formal back in high school. We were so skinny back then! I showed it him and he just laughed, fondly remembering when he was 17 years old and about a hundred pounds lighter. The party was boring as all shit and I though I had asked Dan to not to introduce me as his “friend” he never made an effort to introduce me at all. I ended up having to shake everyone’s hand and tell them my name. Dan just kind of stood there, mute. That pretty much sums up our relationship, if you think about it.

Dan will be my date this Friday night for my company’s Christmas party. You can be damn sure I will do a far better job at re-introducing him to all my co-workers. He and I are also off to see a bunch of cool bands at KROQ’s Almost Acoustic Christmas this coming Saturday night. Dating him post break-up is starting to sound like an addiction.

I guess that’s good, right? Get over one person by getting under another...but can it be the same person?!?