"Don't feel no shame" that's what Eve said to Adam before she came...

So here's a rarity...two guys I've been romantically linked to in the SAME picture....Dan is standing to the extreme left side, wearing his Kings jersey....Shawn is standing second from the right side in the blue flannel...and just in case you're wondering, Jeff (the guy who's been giving my friend Sandy the run-around) is standing immediately next to Dan in the gray flannel. This was taken at the party I talked about last Saturday.

Weird.

Life's been ok, I guess....still hanging out with Mike, still talking to Dan and making plans for future hang outs...texted Shawn about a concert he was interested in going that I've already bought tickets for, nothing gossip-worthy or worth posting..

Somebody. Anybody. Make a move!

Could you be the devil? Could you be an angel?

I'm getting too old and spread too thin to keep this 3 guy juggle up.

Been on several dates with Mike and though it's been awesome we just hit the ground running (dinner dates, brunch, bowling, movies, etc.), I knew eventually the proverbial "other shoe" would have to drop...and it happened at the conclusion of recent lunch date on Saturday afternoon.

He confessed that only a few days prior to our first meeting more than a month ago, he had just had a big falling out with the girl he was in love with. He said the experience had definitely left him devastated, scarred and uneasy to try anything romantic. Basically, he wants to keep seeing me but he doesn't want to engage in the whole "dating" thing which I can only surmise means the physical aspect of the relationship. He wants time to be alone, to be himself and figure out what's going on. He made it clear he doesn't want to kiss or anything like that. Weird. But I gotta respect the guy for actually telling me and not waiting 6 weeks or several months down the line. The conversation was a little awkward and though I expressed to him I was a little disappointed, I agreed to keep hanging out. I don't want to lose this kid; not because I want another "friend"...but because he's genuinely a cool guy and I think that further down the line when he gets himself situated, he could be awesome boyfriend material. But don't think I'm gonna hold my breath and wait...

No....when have I ever just sat around and waited? I always look for a pretty distraction.

After my beloved LA Kings managed to stay alive another game in the Stanley Cup playoffs, my friends and I took off to a birthday celebration in Lakewood...free alcohol and good music? How could we pass that up?

The only hiccup in my plan was that Dan had tagged along to the party since he had been watching hockey with us earlier in the day. Unfortunately for me, that meant that he'd be running into Shawn, the idiot I had tried to date a couple of months ago who had resoundingly ignored me. Uhhhh ohhhh.

Now I wasn't in the happiest of moods with Dan. He had been more annoying than usual when we were figuring out the directions to the party. On top of that, during dinner he had remarked quite proudly to my friends that he liked the idea of a couple being "married forever" as it's dictated in the Mormon religion. I almost stabbed him with a fork. How could he express any admiration for deep, long time commitment when he couldn't even work with the temporary one he had with me? He had never even TRIED to make a move to marry me and now all of a sudden he's a proponent of marriage?! Fuck him.

So there I am in the kitchen of the party house, ready to grab a red frat boy cup filled with Johnnie Walker Black Label and Coke, when I see Shawn and his stupid friend Jeff. Ahhh, the dynamic duo who both have done a fine job of blowing off me and my pal Sandy. The double date fiasco continues to have a ripple effect on our lives and this is now the SECOND time we've run into them. I grip my cup and smile at Shawn, "Hi there!" I melt in his arms as he hugs me. What the fuck am I gonna do??

Once all the introductions have died down, I manage to get Dan alone. I whisper to him hastily to make himself scarce as I'm still on the hunt to land Shawn. He doesn't take the news well and makes it incredibly obvious he's the odd man out by standing outside, drinking alone in the backyard while the rest of us talk in a big circle. I flirt with Shawn heavily for a few minutes before I can no longer stand it: Dan is just standing against the concrete wall of the backyard, looking like the loneliest man in the world. IT'S DISTRACTING, but in a heartbreaking way. I notice a couple of people stop to chat him up but he makes no move to join the rest of the group. Ughhhh....now I feel terrible I even said anything. Shawn leans into my ear and asks who Dan is. I tell him he's just a friend. He doesn't seem convinced but accepts it anyway.

Shawn leaves to get another beer and I try to wrangle Dan so he can at least join the group of us and talk to our other friends. He makes me feel guilty and is visibly upset at me, but just hides it with his sarcasm. Why does he always have to be so difficult?! Finally I get him to budge and he joins the big group of friends.

The night wears on and as everyone gets drunker, the music gets louder. The boys get sillier and they're in the patio area, chugging beers and showing off their underwear. I notice both Jeff and Shawn are wearing identical pairs of black Calvin Kleins. I can't stop laughing. I shouldn't have had that second Jack and Coke. Oh man, the moment I caught sight of Shawn's lower belly and the waistband of his boxer briefs peeking over his jeans and belt...God, I could've dropped to my knees and sucked him off RIGHT THERE.

The party ended after two police busts and a noise violation ticket for the birthday boy. It's almost 2 in the morning and we all start to shake off the cold. Time to go home. Jeff asks if we want to come back to Shawn's place and smoke some weed? Uh, fuck yeah we do. I shepherd my very inebriated friend Sandy back to her car, take her keys and we follow the boys. Dan sits in the backseat and Sandy slumps in the passenger side. We're really gonna do this.

We arrive in rain slicked Seal Beach. Shawn wasn't kidding about his apartment. It overlooks the ocean and the balcony area is very cute, kinda 1950s surfer style. The inside of his apartment reminds me of a beach cabana. I'm a little jealous...

Everyone except Shawn and I smoke a little weed. I sit uncomfortably between Sandy and Dan on the couch as they pass the pipe around. I keep my eyes glued on the TV screen, watching the night's hockey highlights as I steal glances at Shawn. God, if Dan wasn't here and Jeff's brother Kenny wasn't passed out in Jeff's truck, I could be fucking Shawn right now. Once the weed is smoked, everyone abruptly gets up to leave. I notice it's past 3 in the morning and I have to be up for Easter Mass in like 6 hours. Ughhhh....I gotta get some fun out of this very weird night.

We quietly tip-toe to our cars through the dark garden pathway of Shawn's apartment. Shawn and I lag behind the rest of the group and linger a little in the narrow, darkened pathway. I reach back for him as he walks close behind me and before I step out into the sidewalk, I turn to him. "What's the matter with you?" I breathe as he surprises me with a barrage of well-placed kisses. I don't want to stop kissing him!! I stand on my tippy-toes (just like last time, with my hands resting on his shoulders), relishing every feverish, soft kiss. His tongue is by far the sweetest thing I've felt in my mouth. Now I kind of know why people say time stops still when you're with someone. I know I have to get back to my friends who are now across the street and waiting for us, but all I can think about is how great kissing Shawn feels. I pull away and giggle: "You need to call me!" He promises he will. All I can do is laugh....liar.

We all say goodbye and Shawn squeezes me in another hug, again promising he'll call me. The drive home is kinda solemn. Sandy worries she was too drunk and acted a fool in front of Jeff. Dan reassures her she was fine and gives us a little bit of the male perspective. I listen to them both chatter their marijuana-infused dialogue as I strain to stay focused. I'm in a strange part of town and the rain is making it very difficult to see. Also, driving someone else's car is always weird. Plus, I'm all frazzled from making out with Shawn, my mind is elsewhere. Dan notices my giddy, distracted state and loudly makes a comment that I was all over Shawn and very obvious about it. Dan says that Shawn is obviously not interested in me. I really wish he'd shut up. I need to stop inviting him to hang out with my friends.

I drop off Sandy and then I take Dan home. I do my best to try and apologize for telling him to get lost earlier at the party but he's not so eager to take my apology. He says I owe him for that. (sigh) Whatever...in the end I'm not even that sorry for doing it. I'm glad I at least got a nice memory of Shawn and hope I can do more than just kiss him. I have no interest in dating him, I just want to bed him. The challenge has been accepted. I text him before I sleep like the dead:

Me: Just so you know, we didn't die. Everyone got home safe.
Shawn: Ok that's good to know. Have a good night.

So now I have a guy that wants to date me but not be physical with me, a guy who wants to be physical with me but doesn't want to date me and a guy who won't do either, but doesn't mind the occasional make out. I really, really, really need to whittle down my options. In my quest to serve up a variety of boys to choose from, I still walk away unsatisfied. Time to erase these options and start over with a clean slate.

Kiss me, infect me with your love & fill me with your poison...

What a week I've been having...bruised, battered both of body and soul...yet I'm still smiling.

WEDNESDAY:
I had dinner with Mike at Fred 62. It all felt so perfect and effortless, I thought maybe I was dreaming...but he looked oh-so-cute and bashful just sitting there, laughing, smiling, using his hands to make emphatic points about movies, music, pop culture and our old, scattered college memories...it felt like only our voices could be heard over the din of the restaurant...I didn't want to go home as we sat there in the booth of the quirky diner, sharing one vanilla milkshake and talking for hours. I know that at several points during the evening, I was just staring at him as he talked...my head slightly cocked to one side, listening and not listening, sitting nearly cross-legged on the squeaky plastic seat of the booth...and at the end of the night, we decided we wanted to date...awkwardly, in true nerd-boy fashion, asked if he could kiss me (except he said if I wanted to "bring it in" which produced explosive laughter) and of course, I said yes...and it was smooth, sweet and sincere...dreamy...never pushy, never too strong...as soft as my eyelashes against his cheek. We made plans for Sunday. (sigh) I floated back to my car.

Here's a visual aid...I present to you Mike:


THURSDAY:
So this is where the madness begins and I purge a sweet memory with violent passion...I go to The Descendents and Bad Religion concert with Dan in tow...we spend the entire night pushing off crazy crowd-surfers and 300 lbs. bros who just wanted to fuck shit up during "Infected." My arms and legs feel like they've been pummeled after the mosh pit erupts just inches from my left ear...my face feels like jelly...but yet I muster the strength and sexual deviance to blow Dan in the front seat of my car in front of his house. I drive home, reeking of beer, semen and blood....I notice a strawberry-colored bruise on my chin and try to wipe it away...yuck...so disgusting...my eyes are sunken with smeared black eyeliner and mascara...my lips feel numb. I feel numb.

But yet as I crawl like a corpse into a coffin, I remember something I wanted to do...I remember another dagger I want to slowly spear into Edgar's side. I text him:

Me: Bad Religion and the Descendents were AMAZING tonight. You should just quit law school and come to shows with me.

I smirk to myself and put away my phone. He'll never call or text back...he's probably got a text book so far up his ass, he won't even notice me.

WRONG. About two seconds later my phone vibrates loudly, complaining of an incoming call. It's Edgar.

I answer in a low voice, almost a whisper. "Hello? Oh hey, it's you."

He lays into me, half-flirting and half-choking with rage...he wants to know why I didn't ask him to come to the show or why I walked out before seeing the headliner Rise Against. I scoff and say they suck...we then launch into a 10 minute battle of who can flirt the hardest...he's relentless...he wants to see me...he wants to make me pay...he wants to fuck the living shit out of me....he wants to make me sore again...he wants to spank me...he wants to kiss me...I just laugh a throaty laugh that doesn't belong to me...I'm no sex goddess but I can make some of his dreams come true...we decide on Friday night....on Friday night he's going to lay me out for real.

FRIDAY:
My date with depravity arrives faster than I expected...I feel like my life is now a far cry from the innocent dinner-time conversations of Wednesday night with Mike...but I just can't help myself...I can't help what Ed does to me...I want to release all the demons, all the pent-up girl emotions...I want to have sex with him after nearly a year of not doing so and I don't want to feel guilty afterward. I want to be degraded by him.

And so we meet at our usual spot, the ill-fated Starbucks on Beverly and Norwalk...I pull up next to his car and step out like a high-priced punk rock hooker...all black Bad Religion top squeezed against my breasts, mini-skirt, fishnet stalkings and Doc Marten boots...maybe I look ridiculous...maybe I look amazing...I don't know until I slide into his passenger seat and he says "hello"...I breathe hello back and within seconds my lips are crushed against his in a violent kiss. My tongue is in his mouth, his hands are on my thighs...the night is ours for the taking.

We do our usual nervous chatter and apprehensive preening...it becomes quite apparent neither one of us has a condom for tonight's festivities...this turns into a quick trip to Ralph's, the only all-night grocery store still open...I see Edgar now in the bright, fluorescent supermarket lights...there he is, decked out in a flannel shirt, blue jeans and tennis shoes...he looks good enough to eat as he stands there in the "family planning" aisle, pretending to care what brand of condoms we're going to get...I feel like a wild child as I walk alongside him, at a funeral procession's pace as we make our way to the check out stand...no bag necessary, he says to the cashier...I feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment as he pays for a box of 12 condoms (!!) and then I act like I'm not there...I try so hard to just be casual...we walk out of the store so quickly, joking that it'd be a riot if the security alarm would sound as we leave.

One motel check-in and $61.50 bill later, we're in our safe haven...he clicks on the light of the bathroom and excuses himself...I turn on the t.v. and watch a little bit of The Office...I can't even sit down, I'm so excited...

Moments later he's out and he's right up against me...I breathe and feel it all coming back to me...his lips smash against mine...our bodies are pressed up so close...I could die right there kissing this fucking bastard...my mind is just a racing blur of thoughts, emotions and memories...he pushes me down on the edge of the bed and pulls off my black T-shirt...my hair dangles down to my bare shoulders now and he's just staring up into my eyes..."How long have you been thinking about this?" he asks as he kisses my neck and unhooks my bra...I can hardly talk, Why does it all feel so different this time? What has changed??? I stutter as I try to form an answer..."Since...since...for a long time now" and then I feel like I can't breathe as he kisses his way down my belly...the lower he goes, the hotter my face feels...he moves back up and finishes removing my bra...then fastens his mouth onto my breasts and sucks hard on my nipples...I could scream but instead it all catches in my throat...I know I can be as loud as I want right now...but I wait...I bide my time running my fingers through his short, black hair, begging him to get up off his knees and let me suck him dry...there are no words as we kiss, then proceed to undress completely...off come shoes, socks, fishnets...he stands there with his jeans unbuttoned and slowly pulls off his white undershirt...I want to devour him as looks at me, bare-chested and with murder in his eyes...what has come over us, I'll never really know...but I order him to get on his back and suck his cock until he's moaning that he's gonna come...he spanks me until I get the job done.

The lights turn off suddenly in the motel room and we realize we're not in trouble, it's just that the lights are on a timer...real classy, right? What a way to interrupt a man's post-coital haze...it doesn't last long...soon he has me pinned against a stack of soft, white pillows...he's merciless on my clit and I come so hard, I feel all my sore muscles from the night before burning to help me remember...arghhh...my fingernails claw at his smooth back, the backs of his arms and his rounded shoulders...I savor the feeling of his tight, little muscles and bite into the flesh...all I can feel as I lay there suspended by his fingers is a desire to eat him alive...I don't want him to exist without me...my pussy is drenched and I can hear how wet I am by the slick sounds coming from between my legs as he works me into a fever...he won't stop rubbing that stubborn spot and I can't stop convulsing..."I love to feel you shake" he murmurs against my right ear...I swallow hard and tell him to shut up and fuck me...we must have done that at least twice because I can remember two distinct times: first I'm twisting in a white, hot orgasm as I ride on top of him, his face a sweaty mix of pain and pleasure...I tell him he's nothing but a glorified dildo which pisses him off...as payback he thrusts several times so hard against me, I nearly come again...the second time he's on top of me, fucking me like a champ...I can't help but mess with him as I taunt: "Oh come on! Fuck me harder. You're not a faggot, you can fuck me harder than that!"...he grinds me into the bed as I hear myself crying in pleasure..."Say my name!! SAY MY NAME!" he hisses at me in the dark, the only thing visible is the wild look in his eyes and the hair in my face...I cry out his name hoarsely as I finish in spite of myself...only it comes out more like "Ed...Ed...uhhh Eddie....God, Edgar." Just as I'm bucking my hips towards the ceiling, I feel him push down and freeze in that familiar way...I've never felt him come like that before. When it's all said and done, I've come at least four times and he's come twice. JESUS CHRIST.

Post-orgasm pillow talk...nothing like it...he lays on his back, propped up against some pillows as I put my head against his chest...he circles his left arm around my waist and holds me close. We laugh a little, talk a bit and rehash the crazy night we just had...he talks about law school, I talk about work...he playfully smacks my ass as he drones on about torts, briefs and this stupid "lawyer prom" he's going to with a girl he said is just his "friend" (yeah yeah yeah)...I begin to kiss my way down his stomach and nuzzle the soft flesh of his belly, hoping to incite another rock hard erection...he laughs and says he doesn't have anymore left in him, I spent him all up...it's time to go home. We solemnly get dressed and he helps me find my earrings. Did that all really just happen?

We trade our usual, heart-felt goodbyes replete with hungry kisses...I stumble out of his car and bid farewell...he calls me by my new nickname: "gorgeous" and says good night. All the way on the ride home I can smell him on me...on my face, my lips, on my mouth, on the tip of my tongue, all the way up into my nostrils I can smell his cologne, the taste of his hair and skin...even after I get home and scrub my face before bed...I wash my mouth and brush my teeth...but I can't shake his scent, it haunts me like a bad dream...THAT GUY IS GONNA BE A LAWYER SOMEDAY. Just wow.

SATURDAY:
King vs. Ducks with Dan and my girl friends...pleasant...no late-night shenanigans this time...and that was fine by me....still think we look cute together:


...but I did text Mike and cement plans for Sunday...also I couldn't help but flirt with Edgar one last time as I nursed the bruises on my thighs and legs--

Me: Thighs, abs and even my clit is sore...thanks for that :) Hope you had fun at your lawyer prom.
Edgar: I did.
Edgar: See you again soon.

He fucks me so well, it just makes me wanna cook him breakfast in the morning...the fact that he said "see you again soon" makes me think I fucked him so good he wants seconds and thirds. Hate that he keeps me a secret and runs around with all these stupid skinny bitches that couldn't fuck their way out of a broom closet...sometimes I hate Facebook:




Yeah, I'm crazy...and blurring their stupid faces was all-together too satisfying. Yikes.

SUNDAY:
I pulled it all together to be normal with Mike on Sunday for dinner...he took me to his favorite pub, Father's Office in Culver City...delicious burgers and fries by the way...we then tried to go bowling but all the lanes were filled up and there was no way we were gonna get on a waiting list...so we opted for some coffee and sat in his car talking....at the end of the night we talked about what was to happen next...thankfully both he and I don't want to get into a serious relationship yet...it was a relief, to say the least...but I'm glad he wants to continue dating...I would like that in my life, just a slice of sanity...I won't be kept in the shadows like Edgar wants me to...or be made a side bet like Dan has....I need to get away from them but I feel like a large portion of me is unable to...maybe Mike will be the one to finally get me away from the dark side...I've missed what it's like to be in the sunnier side of dating.

Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold....

You know, when Edgar suddenly gets the urge to be "romantic" and start texting me, I wish he'd do it during normal, waking hours.

I was stone cold asleep when suddenly at around 12:30 am, he decides to strike up a conversation. I was a little peeved as I wiped the sleep from my eyes and tried to focus my eyes in the dark:

Edgar: Why is it that I can't get you out of my head?
Me: Uhmmm...because I'm equal parts nice girl, cool friend and sex kitten?
Edgar: True. Especially sex kitten.
Me: You bring that side out of me...what can I say?
Edgar: Well you're sexy and we always have fun together.
Me: Thanks, handsome. Looking forward to more fun. You and I deserve it.

Does this mean I shouldn't be surprised if I get a late night booty call? A request for fellatio? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Mike surprised me with his initiative. I had a very different text conversation with him after work:

Mike: Hey! So for dinner this week, wanna do Wednesday? Like 7ish or generally sometime after work?
Me: Yeah Wednesday would be best. I was thinking Fred's 62. It's near my work. It's a diner: good milkshakes and quirky decor.
Mike: Haha...is this a Pulp Fiction thing? We won't have to dance will we?
Me: Haha...no dancing but I thought you might enjoy the similarities. If you had someplace else in mind, lemme know.
Mike: Are you kidding? That sounds awesome! I could use a $5 milkshake ;)
Me: Alright, sounds good. We'll figure out the deets tomorrow.

I really like how he talks and the references he makes...seems like he could really keep up with me. It sounds terrible but I think I'd be all over Mike more if he was better looking...or taller...ughhh...I'm trying not to be so shallow but I think being attracted to someone is kind of important along with all the other stuff. I wonder if I can grow to like him more in the looks department, because he already has an amazing personality. Hmmm.

Also, I gotta cut down my Rolodex of boys and make sure I keep them all straight: dinner with Mike on Wednesday, Bad Religion concert with Dan on Thursday and whatever else might come my way this weekend.

Did I mention Dan and I have a romantic getaway planned for Vegas in late September? We're supposed to go to the Kings game, as we always do for Frozen Fury. We booked a suite at the MGM, so this should be interesting. We should just get it over with and get married. (siiiiigh)

It's no bed of roses, it ain't no crown of thorns...

It has been a crazy 72 hours in my mixed up, crazy kind of world...

In my previous entry I made mention I was going to a discussion panel for the t.v. show "Community" with my old college buddy Mike. After an entire night of nerding out to one of our favorite t.v. shows and pretty much all things pop culture, I decided I really liked him and couldn't wait to spend another evening talking our heads off. I made sure to kiss him on the cheek when we said goodbye, which I'm sure he was not expecting. :)

Mike was faster on the draw than I was. He sent me a text soon after asking if I wanted to go see "Paul" with him. I happily said YES!

My plans to go to the movies with Mike fell through because of a torrential rain storm that hit Los Angeles. I'll be honest, I was kind of glad he didn't want me driving in the dark, cold rain in a part of L.A. I hardly ever go to. We made mention that we'd try to reschedule.

We caught up on FB chat a couple of weeks later and after a very rousing conversation about comics and their film adaptations, I asked him when we'd finally get to go out together again. Mike quickly responded with an offer to go see a midnight showing of Pulp Fiction at the Beverly Cinema. I hesitated a bit since Quentin Tarantino is not one of my favorite directors and I had NO IDEA where the Beverly Cinema even was. But I sucked it up and decided to just grow up and go with it. So I agreed, not even really sure if this was even a "date" or just two friends getting together.

The entire night was just clicking with chemistry. We have the best conversations and I was so happy when he stopped in mid-sentence to tell me that I "just get it." I don't think I've ever enjoyed Pulp Fiction as much as I did that night. Even though I'm not a Tarantino fan, you can't argue with a classic like Pulp Fiction.

After the movie was over we sat in his car and just talked some more. Yeah, we can't shut up...hahah...good thing? Anyway, before I said goodbye I asked if he had a girlfriend to which he said no. I was glad to hear it but he asked me why I even asked. I had no reason for him that didn't make me sound crazy, so I just said I wanted to make sure things were not weird or anything. I don't think that helped at all, by the way. Ughh. But before I could begin to put out the awkward fire I had started, he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner this coming week. I readily agreed and he said I should find a restaurant near my work. (squeal) I was on cloud 9 the entire way home. I almost couldn't fall asleep, I was that wired on happiness.

The next day I joined up with Dan on another one of our weird "friend" dates that we do. He got us a pair of tickets to the Kings vs. Stars hockey game. We had a great time and it was awesome seeing the Kings get another step closer to the playoffs but I could sense Dan was a little off. A couple of times he seemed upset at me. During the game he asked why I didn't invite him to go to the comedy show that I was preparing to attend that night with my gal pals or why I went to a midnight screening of Pulp Fiction, a movie from a director he loves and which he knows I don't. I told him that it's because we're really not dating, so why include him more in my life than is appropriate. As for the Pulp Fiction thing, I told him I'm trying out new things with new people...I didn't mention it had been a date with a guy. I countered later on (half serious/half joking) that if he wanted to be included in more fun activities with my friends, he should just be my boyfriend again. All he could do was laugh. Ugh. Whatever.

After the game I dropped off Dan at his guitar lesson in Studio City and took off to the Gibson Amphitheater to meet up with my friends for the comedy show. I got there super early, so I texted with Mike for a bit then hit up the shops for some cute accessories and much needed retail therapy. I got a super cute skull and cross bones necklace from Hot Topic, which I immediately put on. Paired with my sexy LA Kings low-cut top, jeans and Ray Ban sunglasses, I was feeling like a hot mama. I know I made at least one street vendor drop his jaw.

This much needed sexy make-over came in handy. After the comedy show we ran into none other than Jeff and Shawn, along with Jeff's brother Kenny and his wife Tara. Well, well, well....this quickly turned fun as both Sandy and I were a little more than miffed both boys had resoundingly ignored us for the past two months. Sandy should have been even more angry than me since Jeff had blown her off at a friends barbecue we had attended earlier this month, acting like he didn't even know who she was. I was ready to make Shawn squirm when Tara suggested we go get drinks. I was going to enjoy myself. :)

Shawn was his usual dopey good-guy self, flirting with me and admiring my cleavage-inducing Kings top. He sat next to me at the table and we chatted. I poked fun at him, made him the butt of a few jokes and flirted with him until he was red in the face. Okay, so I wasn't exactly torturing the boy...but I enjoyed making him sweat when I corned him at the end of the night and asked point blank when he was going to man up and ask me out on a real date. I wasn't interested in knowing WHY he never called, I knew why: because he's a cowardly twerp. He had no answer of course, just kind of stammered a half-witted response that I couldn't hear since he speaks at just barely above a whisper. I shot him an evil grin and said it was all on him now. He blushed and asked if that was so, to which I replied I had already upheld my end of the bargain by making myself available. Your move, douche bag.

We all awkwardly said goodbye at the end of the night and I hugged Shawn for just a little too long. I blame the White Russians pumping through my veins. I told him to call me and kicked him playfully to accentuate my point. He smiled and said "Go Kings." I think that means I should never expect to hear from him again....and you know what, that's fine with me!

So while this whole attempt at water-boarding Shawn with my sex appeal was going on, I was flirting with Edgar via text. I started off by sending him a picture of Bill Burr, a comedian he loves and that I got to see at the comedy show.

Me: Don't hate me too much.
Edgar: Haha I do.
Me: Once your finals or whatever are done...come see me. I miss you. My throat misses you too.
Edgar: Maybe before finals :)
Edgar: I would have to admit I missed you too.
Me: Awwww...sweet of you to say. Well, you know how to reach me. Just throw out the bat signal and I'm yours.
Edgar: Hmmm you're mine. I look forward to having you all to myself.
Me: Oh you smooth talking soon-to-be lawyer. I have no case against you. I would love to let you have me all to yourself. I have no defense.

Juggling four guys at a time, eh? Sometimes I amaze myself.

But on the real, I like Mike the best. I have a crush on his personality and enjoy being around him. Let's see if dinner this week pans out and what happens between us. I am ready to tell him that I don't really need another friend. I need a man that can keep up with me.