It’s gonna be you & me/It’s gonna be everything you’ve ever dreamed

Every two months or so, Jose has to check in with his mental health doctor and chat about how he's doing. Nowadays, he says, the visits are very brief and his doctor can tell he's very stable. The doctor casually mentioned if he would like to get his prescription refilled at a pharmacy closer to his home. Jose's been getting his meds refilled at the same pharmacy for the past five years with no problems. Once he decides to switch to a closer one, there's an issue and he can't get his pills. Thankfully, he's got enough to last him for a while but he won't be able to get another prescription for another 2 months or so. 

Though I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, I wonder what he's like when he's off his meds. Since last summer (when I found he was manic depressive & schizophrenic) he's revealed what kind of person he was when he was "sick" as he puts it. He told me he didn't sleep, would have emotional outbursts (anger and sadness), would say rude things, read the meaning into things too hard and would even become scared of coincidences or moments of déjà vu. There were even moments when he'd black out while drunk and do stupid shit to his friends that almost cost him those relationships.

He assured me things are much, much better now. He's been lucky enough to have found the right medicine early on. He confessed that sometimes he acts like what he remembers to be "normal." I asked if he ever reverts to acting "normal" around me so things stay cool but he said he always acts like himself around me. And that makes me happy. I love him unconditionally. I love him completely. His illness is only part of the patchwork that makes up who he is....I love him wholly.

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We've been apartment and house hunting for a few weeks now. My cousin told us about a place but unfortunately the landlord only gave us the run around and we later found out he too was renting it out to his own family. A whole day wasted looking at that apartment for nothing!

Jose's been on Craigslist calling up places but nothing looks good. We finally decided to hit the pavement and drive all over Eagle Rock, Highland Park, Glassell Park and Mt.Washington....we even got as far as Pasadena looking for rentals. We were a well-oiled machine: I would call up and leave voicemails on realty office answering machines and on the cellphones of landlords while Jose hit the gas on the Civic, stopping only momentarily to creep along when he'd spot a nice building with a phone number. He'd shout the number and I would dial. We must have called like a dozen places or more!

We had two promising leads: a small apartment building with only a handful of units in Highland Park on Avenue 57. The street had parking and plenty of shade due to some huge, leafy trees. We saw a white guy come out of the building, ready to go on his jog. That made us very excited! Jose was lucky and a lady spoke to us about the price: $950! She said to call back Tuesday so we could speak to the apartment manager :D

Our second break was a nice, clean building in Eagle Rock at $1025: a spacious one-bedroom with our own parking spot,  hardwood floors and central A/C. Again, we were told to call back and speak to the on-site manager on Tuesday after the long holiday weekend. Fingers always, always crossed that we get our place soon! We are dying to move out and be together. 

Jose's dad spotted a nice home for sale in Simi Valley which is about 30 miles too far from our jobs but the price is sooooooooo nice: $175,000 for a 2 bedroom HOME. Not to rent but to own! Sadly, this is our reality here in Southern California....you stay close to work but pay outrageous rental prices. You drive outside of the city with a commute from hell, but you get a mortgage that is the equivalent to most people's monthly rent. Ughhhh. Jose's dad even offered to sell the Corvette to get a loan to help us buy a house. He said he wants the "best for us." Wow....I've only recently met Jose's dad (he was in town from Reno for Easter) but I guess I made a real good impression on him if he wants to help me and his son buy a house!

Tough decisions to make..what's the best choice when it comes to living situations?! Rent or buy?! Stay close, save gas and have our cars last a long time....or buy and spend hours every week driving to work?!

Recently, we spent the night at Jonny's. The boys got to drinking and Jose passed out in his clothes; he didn't even bother changing or brushing his teeth. I snapped a picture the next morning to remind me of what I'm shooting for: waking up to this wonderful sight every single morning! With his hair that smells like vanilla because of his pomade, fingernails he can never get clean enough because he works on cars, boxers peaking out from his jeans, his big heart-shaped back, those arms that give the best hugs....all of him. Every single bit.