Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me....

I need distractions and to be worry-free...that seems to be the only way to hog-tie Edgar's attention and get him to come running to Whittier...

Last night's plans were littered with hiccups and obstacles...instead of being in our usual front row standing spot, wailing off key to our favorite Smiths songs, Dan and I wound up in the Key Club's upstairs dining area contemplating a two-drink minimum...we made the best of it and rocked out to Die, Die My Darling, a Misfits cover band...the lead singer didn't sound a thing like Danzig, but he wore a Misfits T-shirt...I remember Edgar had the same one years ago...

Our favorite band The Sweet and Tender Hooligans hit the stage around 11 pm and I was immersed completely in the soaring melodies of Morrissey...every broken-hearted lyric...every guttural cry about the unfairness of life...every single note seemed to be directed at me...I kept my phone on vibrate and wondered what Edgar was doing...I wished he was sitting here next to me in this cozy booth, kissing my lips and holding me close during "Suedehead." Dan and I sat side by side...but we could've been a million miles apart for all I cared.

We sped home and somewhere around the 101/110 split Dan was already knocked out cold, sleeping like a baby...I felt a twinge on my front right pocket...it was a text message...I glanced at my dashboard clock...1:03 am...I smiled to myself and felt a hot flash of anticipation, happiness and nervousness...do we even have to wonder who that was?

I cautiously pulled out my phone, trying so hard not to make any sudden moves and in the process wake up Dan from his alcohol-fueled coma...

Edgar: I want to see u tonight.

My chest surged...my palms felt cold and clammy....and suddenly I felt like my body was covered in a freezing sweat...I glanced around and checked my rear-view mirror...no cops? no cops? GOOD!

I shot him a text back, again trying to be ever so careful and not make my car swerve...I don't like texting while driving, especially after I've downed a couple of cocktails...this doesn't need to end in a DUI with a citation for texting while driving...

me: Be home soionn.

Yeah, I am not a master of multi-tasking...at least not in this respect...in the name of safety and not waking up my slumbering bear of a boyfriend, I sacrificed correct spelling...I think Edgar got the message.

I made the drive to East L.A. in about 9 minutes...yeah, I was speeding...fuck it...if I could, I would have opened the passenger door and let Dan fall out and roll into the gutter of his parents house...but I didn't.

:)

I pulled over and dialed Edgar at 1:12 am. My heart was beating like a drum on crack cocaine...ring, ring, ring...he picks up on the fourth ring. "Hey, what's up?" he answers, as if cool ice runs through his veins...as if nothing has ever bothered him in his life...so casual, so calm...I feel like red peppers have been spread all over me...I'm running hot and cold...I collect my thought and inhale sharply, "Hey! Where you at?" We awkwardly make plans to meet at our usual spot, the Starbucks on Beverly and Norwalk in Whittier...we both pretend not to know what we're planning to do in a few minutes...

And the race is on...I do my best not to speed, but I catch my speedometer inching towards 80 miles an hour...CALM DOWN, I scream in my head, hoping my nervous system understands and my body will obey.

I make it to the rendezvous point first...so I sit in my car and turn the radio on to ease my altered nerves...I smooth my hair back then change my mind and tousle it back up a little so I can at least look sexy...I'm not wearing earrings...my make up is almost non-existent...I smile at myself...well, it's dark...and I appear put together and the last lingering effects of my intoxication give me the confidence to know that I am a desirable object...the fact that I know Edgar is speeding over from Commerce in the middle of the night is proof enough...as I'm nearing the end of my late-night booty call pep talk, I see a white car pass by in my rear view mirror and make a left...that's him...I know that car anywhere.

I inhale and exhale slowly...I beg my heart to stop jack hammering...just slow down...slow down to a normal pace...I glance over and see Edgar pull up next to me...he looks over and smiles at me, per usual. I wave and get out gracefully...

I get into his car, savoring every little moment...I slide into the passenger seat and we exchange greetings...it's not long before the inside of his Solara is filled with the sound of our laughter...I explain to him the disaster the previous night, about my friends not wanting to leave fast enough...he fesses up that he told himself to stay up and wait for me, but what was supposed to be a moment to rest his eyes, ended up being him waking up around 4 am to a few choice texts from me...he told me how the whole "lick you like a motherfuckin lollipop" was the cherry on the sundae and he was left wanting so bad to see me...I giggled...it worked!

We swing over to our determined hideaway...I know what's going to happen..he turns off the car...I want it, I want it...the last few weeks have culminated into this...time seems to slow down right now...I can hear myself making idle, nervous chit-chat...I hear my voice trail off...he looks over at me, with these eyes full of want, hormones and loneliness....he reaches over and pulls me close, almost on top of him...we kiss like two lovers on a sinking ship...I love how soft his tongue feels, exploring the inside of my hungry mouth...I plead with God to never let this end...to have time stand still just this once because I can't bear to tear myself away from this boy...his hands roam all over my body...he pulls at the hem of my shirt, on the hunt for my breasts...I help out and pull my top off to reveal my D-cups in a nice black bra...he paws at them, like a crazy lunatic...my rack looks amazing in the moonlight and I almost wanna see them as bad as he does...he reaches behind my back and unhooks my bra in one fluid motion...I look at him in surprise and all I can utter is "Whoa!"...Edgar fastens his mouth to my right breast and suckles it like he's been waiting his entire life for it...he moves to my left one and sucks hard on the nipple...I am lost in hot, shimmering pleasure...WHY CAN'T THIS BE MY LIFE??....as I'm propelling towards a world of ecstasy, he makes a bee-line for my crotch and I don't even flinch when I feel his hand slide under my jeans and past my drenched panties...he goes for my clit and after a few minutes of near orgasms, I beg him to just let me suck his dick...

He quickly leans back and follows orders, unzipping his black Dickies pants and revealing a delicious full-erection...this boy never shows up half-stalk...I stop myself from attacking his swollen cock and lift his black Alkaline Trio shirt up...I quickly savor the sight of his tight, flat stomach...the hair around his belly and the softness of his skin...I run a finger down his sides and feel him shudder ever so slightly...torture time is over...I dive right in, burying my face in his lap...the smells and taste are all so familiar...I suck him off like a pro, showing no mercy and no teasing...I work him like I'm jerking him off, except my mouth is twisting and licking him everywhere...I can see he's almost ready...it's only a matter of seconds before he goes off...I moan in response to each of his sighs and groans....he sinks his fingers into my hair...and then suddenly I hear silence from him, like he's lost his breath...and I feel his whole body freeze...he's comes in one giant shot of semen...I feel myself gag/burp but I swallow his come quickly, masking any unpleasantness he might have noticed...once he's done ejaculating, I hold him tenderly between my lips before pulling away...I know at this precise moment, his dick is sensitive as all hell...I carefully draw my mouth away and lick the entire shaft and tip clean...he looks at me with this amazing expression of appreciation and touches my hair lovingly.

I feel like an obedient little slut, happy in his happiness..I sit up, my breasts still exposed and remark that this is his "congratulations on getting into law school" present. He laughs and says it's the best present he's gotten so far. "Hallmark doesn't make a card for this kinda stuff!" I joke as reach for my bra...

I get dressed and we start talking...he shows me his first week of law school schedule...all the orientations and workshops he has to go...I confide that I'm applying to different films schools and cinema graduate programs...his eyes light up and he says that's great, asking me all sorts of questions about what schools and where...he jokingly asks that if I choose to write a screenplay about our trysts, can I please pick a hot guy to play him?...I play along and say I'll get a young Henry Rollins type guy to interpret the part of Edgar...so refreshing to see some support from him...I remember days ago when I told Dan of my post-graduate plans, he made a face and shrugged his shoulders...like it was a stupid idea.

We sit around for a long time, talking about our pets and how he loves dogs but I love cats...I tell him about my cute, tomboy cat Susie and he gushes over his dogs Noche (which is Spanish for night) and Mica...the German Shepherd Mica loves to stick her snout into the hole in the garage door and beg Edgar to let her in...he promises to take a picture of it and post it on Facebook...

Speaking of which, he reads my Facebook posts...which is how he knew I'd be out at the Morrissey birthday show and possibly up for some late night fun...I kinda don't feel bad now about how I read all of his posts religiously...but I don't say a word.

We talk about past relationships and how well we get along in comparison to all those other disastrous affairs...he tells me about the girl he was on a date with who rebuked him when he put his arm around her and proclaimed that he should "leave room for Jesus." I laughed out loud and told him he got cock blocked by Christ himself...I told him his dick was evil...he laughed and shook his head, "No, you're the evil one. You corrupted me!"

Our soundtrack this time was City and Colour, a Canadian folk/acoustic band fronted by Dallas Green. Edgar is pleased I can just hear a band and instantly know who it is...I don't mention that the song "Coming Home" reminds me so much of him...

He referred to himself as my "backdoor man"...that's kinda funny...

It's nearly 3 am and he starts the car up...I feel a little disappointed but it's getting extremely late...I can feel a yawn coming on...it's time for bed...if only he could join me.

Ahhhh...the goodnight kiss...more like the dozen and a half goodnight kisses...as soon as we finish one, we kiss again...and again...and again...I lose count and sigh when we finally pull away for good...I smile at him and touch his cheek, "You are so handsome. You know that's your nick name right? Handsome. God, you are just too good looking!" He doesn't reply, just smiles wide like a goofy kid, never showing his teeth...."Goodnight, see ya soon" he says finally and I agree, "See you one of these days...you know how to reach me...it might take us a few tries but we always find a way, right?" He nods in agreement, "Yeah, it's kinda hard..." I look away and think about all the weeks I agonize when I don't see him...how all that pain was just a speck in the universe of our body heat and sexual energy moments ago....I can feel it all coming back to me...my voice cracks a little, "Yeah...it is hard getting two different people's lives together." I wonder if he noticed...I thank him for a lovely night and kiss him sweetly one last time as I grab my keys and purse...

"You handsome motherfucker!" I say and step out of the car...I can hear him laugh inside of his car as he calls out goodnight and calls me by first name...he never says it...it sounds divine...

I drive home with a huge fucking grin on my face....I get ready to make a left onto Whittier Boulevard and see his White Solara speed past me on Norwalk...I watch him until I can't see him anymore...

I collapse into bed around 3 am, happy as all hell...but knowing I have an eternity of waiting ahead of me...until the next time he sweeps in and grabs me...when our lives sync up again and we can indulge...when we can be ourselves...when we can get away from life and just exist in a smoldering torrent of selfish and wild fornication.