The weekend came in 2 parts.
Friday night: I went out to a nightclub with my friend Reina and her hugely overweight friend Charlene. I was decked out in my flirty cheerleader outfit and was pleased to see there were no other girls dressed up in my costume. I didn't drink at all, save for a sip from Reina and Charlene's drinks. I parked my butt on the dance floor and partied the night away. I danced with several guys in costume but couldn't keep my eyes off this one hot firefighter guy near the bar. I kept meaning to go over and approach him since he wasn't dancing but my fear got the best of me. At one point, this clumsy dude (not in costume mind you!) asked me to dance with him. I was bored so I went for it. I couldn't tell if he was white or just a light-skinned Mexican. He kept wanting me to drink his beer and was man-handling me while we were dancing. That just made me increasingly upset. Then he tried to kiss me but I dodged him like a ninja. What a dumb-ass. I decided to join my friends again and leave this weirdo. He and his friends tried to get us to dance with them again later in the night but we weren't interested. *sigh* Clubs are NOT the place to find quality guys. It's like the bottom of the hormone-soaked barrel.
Reina made some very good points about my current love woes. She's very skilled at reducing them to short, little mantras that I can repeat to myself.
About Danny: "Stop living in the past."
About Edgar: "He's just not that into you..."
About Julio: "He's scared of strong women."
So she and I arranged to go to "Date and Dash" on the 18th. I am nervous all around! I've never been speed dating so this will be a great, new experience. I hope we meet some quality guys that we can date and not just leave with the overwhelming urge to dash.
Saturday night was the night of my epic Halloween party. I was pretty dead certain that Dan (after a long text conversation) wasn't coming since he refused to take the bus or borrow his parent's car. I still maintained hope that Edgar might pop in at the end. I drowned my hopes and sorrows in drink after drink....then shot after shot. My friends kept me in great spirits and I was glad to see them all in hilarious costumes.
The hottest guy in high school (and also one of the nicest!), Nick Moreno showed up at my party. He came, as usual, with a harem full of girls. Unfortunately, one of them was his girlfriend Evelyn. He did not escape scrutiny and the consensus was that yet again, Nick likes to date unimpressive-looking girls. My friend Sandra told me that I should take it as a compliment that Nick hasn't asked me out yet: I'm obviously not frumpy enough for him! Hahaha! But yeah, I value our friendship and wouldn't want to spoil that by being yet another notch on his belt. Besides, it would be just too weird hooking up with Nick after I've seen him go through dozens of girls over the years. I know his history, I know his tendencies, I watched the guy cheat on a girlfriend back in 2006...I just don't think so.
Still...it would be interesting to kiss a guy with a lip piercing...hmmm...
My phone had to be constantly hidden from me to avoid embarrassing, drunken text conversations. With much stealth and inebriated forethought, I was able to squeeze in a last ditch effort to find out if stupid Edgar would show up.
me: Are u coming tonite?
Edgar: I am wit my study group. I will hit u up when I am done.
I never did hear from him. Asshole.
My consolation prize: having my friend Santana confess that he had a crush on me in high school...and then blurting out loudly that he still liked me. I should've known that was coming...he was the ONLY guy who had RSVP'ed yes on my invitation. Santana then spoiled any chance of advancing with me by drunkenly proclaiming he had AIDS and smoked crystal meth. As suspected, none of those things were true. I confronted him a few days later on Facebook and he was beyond mortified. He had no clue why he said ANY of those things. I didn't bother to find out if the long-standing crush on me was true or not...I'll just pretend it was all an alcohol-fueled word vomit. I guess even guys aren't immune from saying stupid shit while drunk.
Best part of Halloween? Seeing all the crazy pictures the next morning on Facebook. Pity that my exes don't feel like dressing up...lame, lame, lame.
Edgar with one of his "study group" partners...
Thankfully she's too young to be Paul's actual girlfriend...
I did end up meeting with Dan on Thursday night for the Sublime concert at the San Manuel Indian gaming casino...I picked him up at work and we drove non-stop in horrendous traffic to the Indian reservation. I was so glad he didn't fall asleep on the car ride over and that he picked up the tab at dinner. Dating him with no strings attached feels far superior than before when all we ever did was go through the motions and piss each other off. It felt good to hug, kiss and cuddle. I miss that physical affection and wish I didn't have to go so long without it. At one point, I did get frisky during "Garden Grove" and regretted the fact that we didn't get a room at the casino for the night. (sigh) Oh well.
I survived Halloween. Autumn is in full swing. Let's hope things pick up. I need to wean myself off of Dan. I need to erase Edgar's number off my phone. Reina was my voice of reason last night at dinner. She asked if it hurt my feelings that she told me that Ed was "just not that into me." I told her no...that it was actually a very sobering thing to say. I need to work on my will power.
I need to understand that I deserve better than borrowed time and temporary emotions.
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