Busy week, fun way to start the new year...
I get a Facebook post to my timeline (sorry, the jargon on this website is ever evolving and I'm hurrying to catch up) from an old fling of mine. A one Mr. Jorge Velasquez.
I made the ill-fated mistake of hooking up with him during Spring Break 2006 in Rosarito, Mexico in an astounding moment of weakness (my then-boyfriend Paul ditched me to go build houses in Peru...jackass). Jorge was not a very skilled ladies man and I do distinctly remember giving him more than one chance to redeem myself, only to ditch him in the middle of the night on the second try so that I could rush myself to the 24-hour pharmacy for a prescription of the morning after pill. It was on that second and final encounter that I had used him to cheat on my asshole boyfriend Alberto. Poor thing....it wasn't entirely his fault. He was just a silly casualty in my destructive phase of late 2006. We patched things up since and have remained friends. He's studying Music Education in New Orleans and was home on winter break.
So yes, I get a post from him:
"Hey [...], I'm in town for the week. Let me know if you got time to chill. Gonna be hittin the dub club Wednesday and art walk Thursday..."I said I'd be up for either night, he could tell me which one would work best for him to which he replied: "
Come down both days.." Ohhh well now, someone's an eager beaver.
We settled on hanging out Monday night instead. It was a strange. As usual, he's off getting high with his loser friends and I have to wrangle him. We drive down the block to get Mexican food at King Taco. We sit, talk, laugh and catch up. I'm happy for him. He's really turned his life around. Despite still being a bit of a pothead, he's finally chasing after his dreams to teach music. We talk a little about relationships. I give him help with his situation (her name is Blair and she's friend-zoning him hard) and he lends some advice to mine (YES. Ryan is a douche-bag...I know!). We end the evening on a nice note and I go home. I loosely make plans to see him later in the week, knowing full well I don't really care to.
As I prepare myself for bed, I get a text from him:
Jorge: Hey, just putting it out there...if you wanna come by late night sometime and release some stress, could be fun ;)
Oh gosh....guess he remembers things a little differently than I do. I humor him by entertaining the idea about coming over the next night....but then Tuesday night comes and he's out in Santa Monica with friends, probably getting high again. I immediately tell him it's okay and I'll see him Thursday. There's NO WAY I'm seeing him Thursday. Haaaah!!
Glad I didn't commit to Tuesday because I would've missed the hour and half conversation I had with Ryan. That's right....you read that correctly. Ryan Fucking Lopez. Just outta nowhere he comes with this:
Ryan: :PMe: :D I mean...ahem (takes a deep breath).... :PRyan: haha
Me: Facebook messages are the new text messages.Ryan: haha yea. FB messages are old hat to me hhaha. I'm waiting on neural implantsMe: one day Google is gonna be implanted in our brains. I can't wait.
Ryan: haha
Me: so what have u been up to stranger?
Ryan: workin, looking for a part time or just flat out new job. need more $$$Me: oooh sucks. best of luck
Ryan: we shall see what happensMe: dont hate me. but i got a raise last week. are u looking for a sugar mama?Ryan: haha. for me a sugar mama needs 6-7 figures. haha. or just magically give me $800. either/or. hahahaAnd on and on we chatted....teasing each other, flirting a little. Finally, I ask if he'd like to go out to dinner sometime and he agrees. It isn't until I mention giving him a blowjob as part of the deal that he suddenly acts all interested. He asks if I wouldn't mind coming over now. I shake my head. NOPE. I say dinner and more would be better suited for the following night. After a second or two of deliberation, he agrees. Come over, 6:30 pm, dinner...and who knows what else? WE BOTH KNOW WHAT ELSE.
Wednesday night comes (eeeeeek!). Before we head out to dinner, I meet his roommate June. She's half white/half Thai. Not bad, kinda pretty but you can tell she's an older woman. Ryan introduces me as his friend and I extend my paw to shake her hand. Friend huh? Ouch.
We settle on Good, a micro-brew and grill in Silver Lake. Food is tasty and the conversation is fun. I love talking to him. I love his easy laugh, how he tilts his head back and you can almost see the back row of his teeth as he laughs out loud. His eyes light up like a little kid's. I also hate/love how he can't keep his eyes off my cleavage. I had to swat his gaze away at least once. We share macaroni and cheese, french fries and talk about everything under the sun. He makes me laugh so much. It's almost infectious how I love making him laugh, too. I'm on cloud 9, sprung so hard.
Back at his place, we try to watch a movie but end up just browsing through Ryan's entire music collection on his laptop instead. It isn't long before I'm stretched out on his bed. Off come the shoes. Ryan climbs on top of me, this fiendish look in his eyes paired with a smile. When he looks at me like that, I am rendered powerless. He's slowing kissing me. We roll around on his bed, feverishly locking lips. He's let his beard grown in now and his hair is a little longer. I let my hands roam at their free will. He does the same and it's not long before he's unhooking my bra as I bury my face in his lap.
Sex with him is always so perfect. So easy. Effortless in the most pleasing way. I always feel like a shivering, quivering, convulsing, virginal school girl. Like I've never been fucked before. Never. Not like this. Ryan has a way all of his own.
I spent a good amount of time working him with my hips. He lays there, eyes closed, just enjoying the ride I'm having on top of him. He reaches up for me, like a blind man. I can see on his face how he responds to every little snap of my hips, every undulating movement, every little squeeze of my vagina. I grind on him, pushing all the way forward so that our faces are aligned. His eyes flutter open and he kisses me. Our mouths crush together, I feel myself melting. I feel warm, then hot. I'm coming as he's moving his mouth to my right breast. He bites at the nipple and I orgasm with urgency. God! GOD! GOD! I almost can't take it and have to slide off. I'm shaking. I lay face down in the blankets and pillows, my body still writhing in the after effects of one helluva orgasm. He had gotten me earlier with his fingers, but this time, I felt it even stronger. I almost want to cry and tell him how great it feels. He doesn't say a word, just slides his dick inside my still reeling pussy. I lay perfectly still on my stomach and muffle my cries into his pillow. He whispers my name in my ear. It sounds so evil. But I like it. He fucks me like that, from behind. I can't see him, all I can feel is his weight on me and his thick, hard cock sliding in and out of me mercilessly. My hair is disheveled, most of it wet from my sweat and tears, all sticking to my face and forehead. He pumps hard into me and the only sound coming out of my throat are pleading sobs. I say his name. I call him baby. I never want it to end. When I finally feel him pull out, I roll over and in a voice that sounds nothing like mine, I choke out: "Did you come?"
He smiles. "Yeah, a little. I'm saving the rest for your mouth."
The kid is a beast. He's the Devil incarnate. We go at it, several times over. I even watch him masturbate. It's just crazy. Insane. We could do this all night if we could.
Finally, we take an extended break and I decide that this is probably the only chance I'll have at speaking my mind. We have "the talk." The whole, "okay where is this going?" talk. A real one.
As expected, he's not interested in a relationship. He says I'm cool and fun to be around. He doesn't want to stop having sex with me and hanging out. So we broker a deal and decide to try just being friends with benefits that occasionally go on dates. I guess that's better than nothing. I tell him that I would like more, that I will always want more. He offers a morsel of hope by telling me that there's a good chance that further down the line, this could turn into something more. He just doesn't know yet. He's more go with the flow, and I'm just so much more "let's figure it out now!" because I don't like wasting my time (sigh) Oh well. At least I can keep him as a sex friend. Better than no friend.
His roommate is silent this time and I get a good night's sleep, wrapped up in Ryan's warm blankets. He makes his chewing noises in the middle of the night. I sleep peacefully.
Morning slowly comes. I catch a glimpse of him sleeping. He looks so adorable. I almost don't want him to wake up, just so I can keep admiring him. I shift around on my side of the bed and stretch. That does it and he starts to open his eyes. I roll away from him but it's too late. He grabs my butt. "Good morning" I murmur as I turn to face him. I rub the sleep from my eyes. He yawns and asks if I would oblige him with a morning b.j. I shrug and go for it, still kinda groggy. It's not long before he's jacking himself off and I'm licking up semen. What a way to start the morning!
I love watching Ryan get ready for work. He looks divine, in a burgundy dress shirt and black dress slacks. He smells amazing. I just want to sit there on the edge of his bed and drink him in. But I know it's time to go. I awkwardly run into his roommate in the bathroom. I wonder if she heard us? Ugh. It's too late now. I gotta go to work!
Outside his gate, we embrace and say goodbye. I hug him so hard and he squeezes back. No plans are made, no promises. We just part ways. I then have to spend the rest of the day, just dreaming about him. I can't wait around forever, just to see if he'll change his mind for me. How determined am I? Or rather, how stupid could I be? Do I dare to chisel away at the ice around his heart and convince him that OF COURSE I'm the girl for him. How could he not want me? But it's stupid to plead your case for girlfriend status when that's not what he wants. Could it really be a losing battle already? (sigh) When did commitment become such a dirty word to guys my age?
