Seriously, what is with the constant dodging of bullets in my love life? Why am I always hiding from Cupid's arrows, hurrying to escape from the (unwelcome) gestures of guys who I am soooo NOT interested? Guys who have virtually nothing to lose and go for broke by asking me out? I hate to sound elitist, but don't they realize I am out of their league? At least I have the common decency to date in the same realm, sometimes even going slightly below. You don't see me unleashing arrows from my quiver, in hopes of ensnaring some doctor or lawyer. (Well, anyone in law school or pre-med is still fair game) -- yeesh.
Case in point: Jorge's stupid friend Adrian, who I spoke maybe two words to last week, friend requested me on FB and then quickly asked if I'd like to go out with him sometime. This is after he Facebook-pissed all over my pictures, remarking how great a smile I have or how "hott" I am. Ughhh...this kid is SO NOT my type. He's a full-fledged stoner, sports a ponytail/mustache, has a kid, is oddly into the Bible and Christianity...and he misspells every other word. Again...ughhhh no. DELETE DELETE DELETE.
Then I've got some cousin of a friend of mine who is obsessed with "poking" me on Facebook. I finally confronted him about it and expressed my annoyance with his passive-aggressive flirting. He claims I'm interesting because I'm "gorgeous & beautiful." Oh please. That's not interesting at all. It's superficial, at best. Tell me something a tad bit more stimulating. This guy lives in Texas and (of course) has a kid. Nope. You're boring. Fatherhood is a huge turn off. NEXT.
Oddly enough: Ray decided to show up on my radar again. You guy remember Ray, right?? Anyway, he strangely decided to stay off my FB radar and text me about stuff he had read on my Facebook. Huh? He worried that I was taking 401K advice from my friends comments (which I wasn't) and then had a chuckle over me trading pictures of hot celebs with Lauren. He concluded his first text volley with: "That is all. Just wanted to ruffle your feathers a bit." I smiled at his concern and convinced him that everything was fine. As for the hot guy pics, I explained that no matter how old we ladies get, we're always caught in school girl crushes...Facebook only seems to highlight that. Ray agreed, claiming that Facebook gives men a "glance inside the complex universe we call the female brain." We both make loose plans to hang out again, but I don't hold my breath. Ray needs to step it up.
No, no....I've got enough on my plate chasing after Ryan. The way into my heart is apparently treating me as lowly as possible. That drives me crazy and then I must have him!!! Here's a conversation we had yesterday morning. I decided to grow some balls and message him on FB, since I saw he was online:
Me: :P
Ryan: I'm going to murder someone right now.
Me: Are u telling me cuz u need help burying a corpse? or...is this just like, hey this is what I'm up to.
Ryan: I'm seriously fuming right now
Me: oh no. Que paso? (Spanish for: what happened?)
Ryan: i fucked up this morning. got a parking ticket. then i go back outside and there is another one on there. 2!
Me: holy shit. really!!! FUCKERS. how much??
Ryan: $136 in the fucking garbage. 68 each. i have to pay these quick. if you have over 5 they tow your car.
Me: ughhhh
Ryan: I'm fucked right now
Me: I'm sorry :(
Ryan: i really don't want to go to the payday loan place. i guess i have to now. i had everything under control too.
Me: i know how stupid that is...i once got a ticket and towed. cost me over 200 bucks in the end. dude, I'm sorry. if there's anything i can do to help
Ryan: no its ok. my dumb ass fault. just needed to scream. i hadnt got a ticket since may! i was doing so good then *bam* raped twice today.
Me: its okay. u can vent. I'm here.
Ryan: I'm gonna pay one today then the other next friday. fuuuuuck. i need that money. fuck these assholes
Me: i know. its ridiculous. listen, i gotta jet. stupid 401K meeting they have to pull me into now.
Ryan: ok
Me: sorry. chat soon. hang in there
Ryan: take care
Me: u too. *big hug*
I hated just leaving him there....but work was calling and I had to tear myself away. A couple of hours later, I checked up on him. Maybe he'd be willing to let me come over and console him...
Me: Are you working today?
Ryan: Sorta. I'm not that mad anymore. I called the city. I only have to pay for 1 ticket.
I decided not to press the issue further and we ended the conversation with him at least laughing. He assured me that it was "all good now!" and I tried my best to put it out of my mind. This hurts so bad. I'm willing to do next to anything to make him happy, to wait on him hand and foot and treat him like a king. But he won't have any of it. I feel like he's just itching to get rid of me. It's just like old Morrissey once said, the more you ignore me....the closer I get. This is now my way of life.
Ryan and I are doomed to meet again. He's already RSVP'd for Lauren's some-times boyfriend Mike's birthday party next Saturday. I hope he doesn't wimp out and not show. I don't wanna hear any lame excuses about work or other parties. Show up, you weenie and finish what you started nearly 3 years ago. Come to Mike's house, drink your liquor, stare at my amazing breasts and take me home. AND FUCK ME. If you'll only let me be your friend with benefits, then give me the fucking benefits I deserve....because plenty of other stupid idiots would trade places with you in a heartbeat!!
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