bilingual heart

Thinking about Edgar now feels like I've awoken from some dream, some hyper-sleep state where the memories that didn't all come through immediately are now starting to file in one by one.

He's the best person to talk about music with...he insists I don't listen to nearly enough punk music. He talks about his favorite band the Lawrence Arms with so much admiration, it's adorable. His iPod is forever changing positions in his car, from being stuffed in his center console to hooked up on his visor to avoid the sound of static from having it transmit through his car radio. I remember my iTrip really sucked and I never got it to work as long as he has.

He claims the reason I have "Working Class Whore" by Pulley on my iPod is because he told me to download it...suddenly, it's his favorite song by them. I know that I downloaded it randomly, only because I knew he liked the band. What he doesn't know is that I was a MySpace creeper a few years ago and noticed he listed them as a favorite band.

We talk about the time he had me listen to a demo he had cut with his band. I told him that it was "a good start." I bet his ego is smarting over that. :)

I like that we kissed during "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division.

He makes a lot of confessions around me. I love that he starts each revelation with, "I've never told anyone this but..." or "The only other person who knows this is my friend Abraham...."

He has a brother named Gabriel and a sister named Stephanie. I've never forgotten.

On the ride to my apartment, he stopped in mid-conversation to tell me I looked especially pretty that night.

I admitted that I like to be chased. And that he's done a good job at keeping that up.

He called me "Lucy" as a joke because of my separate bed with Dan.

I'm only about 4 inches shorter than him but I feel he towers over me when he's standing right in front of me.

He kept the goatee because he knows I like a little bit of scruff. FACIAL HAIR ROCKS!

I caught a glimpse at his underwear....boxer briefs, navy blue with stripes.

On the ride home, I heard him sneeze for the first time. Twice. I was so startled I nearly jumped out of my skin.

He sleeps in his parents renovated garage: he says it's a nice bedroom but insanely cold during the winter.

He loves my smile and puts his fingers up to my lips when I start talking too much or putting myself down. I instantly smile. I told him I like his teeth (I think I was a bit tipsy) and he just laughed. His smile is killer, too.

The gel from his hair left little, itty-bitty white flakes on the edge of my sheets. I didn't wipe them away the next night. I left them there and inhaled deeply. You could still smell him. I found traces of his scent on my blouse. I was sad when I had to throw it in the laundry hamper.

Here's a song that pretty much sums it all up, which is a tell-tale sign that I'm getting sprung on the wrong guy again...I can't believe he's become my muse again. ARGH! Okay, so first in Spanish and then English:

"Lo hecho esta hecho"

En la suite 16
Lo que empieza no termina
Del mini bar al eden
Y en muy mala companía

Era ese sabor en tu piel
A azufre revuelto con miel
Asi que me llene de coraje y me fui a caminar por el lado salvaje

Pense "no me mires asi"
Ya se lo que quieres de mi
Que no hay que ser vidente aquí
Para un mal como tu no hay cuerpo que aguante

Coro:
Lo hecho está hecho
Volvi a tropezar
Con la misma piedra que hubo siempre
Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal
Y contigo nunca es suficiente

Como fue
Que paso
Esa noche
Impaciente

Fueron a llamar
La de recepción
Cuando se quejaban de la 17

No puede ser nada normal
Acabar eligiendo tan mal
En materia de hombres soy toda una experta siempre en repetir mis errores
No hay ceguera peor

Que no querer mirar
Cuando te guardabas el anillo dentro del bolsillo y dejarlo pasar

Coro:
Lo hecho está hecho
Volvi a tropezar
Con la misma piedra que hubo siempre
Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal
Y contigo nunca es suficiente

Nunca me senti tan fuera de lugar
Nunca tanto se escapo de mi control
Pero todo en este mundo es temporal
Lo eres tu y lo soy yo

Nunca me senti tan fuera de lugar
Nunca tanto se escapo de mi control
Pero todo en este mundo es temporal
Lo eres tu y lo soy yo
En eso no decido yo

Coro:
Lo hecho está hecho
Volvi a tropezar
Con la misma piedra que hubo siempre
Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal
Y contigo nunca es suficiente

Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal


"Did It Again"

First floor
Room sixteen
Smells like danger
Even better
Set your goals
Bless our souls
I'm in trouble
But it feels like heaven

You were like one of those guys
The kind with a wandering eye
But I said, "Hey what the hell, once in my life I'll take a ride on the wild side"
You were so full of yourself
But damn, were you cute, as well
I packed my bags, I liked your moves
Anyone could tell that it's hard to deny that

Did it again, love
I got it all wrong
But it felt so right
I can't believe it

And all the mistakes
That went on for too long
Wish there was a way
I could delete it

Second night in a row
Back in trouble
I don't get it

Gotta keep it down
It's logical
We ignore it (yes, I know)
its getting better

When it comes to men it's known
That I end up choosing wrong
'Cause I always trip and fall
The same old rock and repeat and go back

How blind a girl can be
To miss you hide your ring
Thought about everything
I'm so naive imagining and all that

Did it again, love
I got it all wrong
But it felt so right
I can't believe it

And all the mistakes
That went on for too long
Wish there was a way
I could delete it

It may seem to you that I am in a place
Where I'm losing the direction of my life
But I'm sure that this is nothing but a phase
"Right back at ya," cause I'll survive...

It may seem to you that I am in a place
Where I'm losing the direction of my life
But I'm sure that this is nothing but a phase
"Right back at ya," cause I'll survive

Did it again, love
I got it all wrong
But it felt so right
I can't believe it

And all the mistakes
That went on for too long
Wish there was a way
I could delete it