Monday, December 19, 2011

As you enter into my curse...our dreams reverse

I'm starting to really cherish the little, itty-bitty milestones between Ryan and myself. On Friday night we had our first sleep over :)

The Wednesday prior, I was delighted to get a few texts from Ryan...

Ryan: :P
Me: :D I mean :P back at ya hehe
Ryan: Heh. I've had a hectic schedule! My stupid theater was picked to have a full schedule on Xmas eve and day! Sucks ballz!
Me: Aww. Boo! What a bunch of scrooges! I start my Xmas vacay on the 22nd. Try not to hate me.
Ryan: Grrrrrrrrrrr
Me: Haha...I accept your scorn. I bask in it.
Ryan: Ha
Me: Never fear. I will cheer you up with my witty texts and FB posts. Does that mean I shouldn't expect to see that mug of yours until the New Year?
Ryan: We shall see...I James Bond my way into things sometimes.
Me: Haha. That would be great. I've always wanted to be a Bond girl.


So we left it at that...I was smiling the whole week, wondering when he'd swoop in...Christmas shopping distracted me enough. By Friday night, I was bored and with no real plans, I decided to hit the movie theater up by myself and unwind from holiday shopping. Seemed like a fun way to kill some time. Too bad the other patrons were rude and talked the whole way through the movie. Imagine my surprise when I get a text from Ryan half-way through the flick...

Ryan: What's goin on?
Me: Finishing Xmas shopping. And you?
Ryan: Watching TV.
Me: Fun...anything good on?
Ryan: Transformers 3!
Me: Haha...more than meets the eye!! Need any company?
Ryan: That would be nice!
Me: Walking back to my car now...should I head over?
Ryan: Yeah.
Me: Call you when I get there.
Ryan: Ok.


I have never abruptly left a movie and ran to my car so fast. Of course, I happen to be in a part of town where the freeway was closed due to a bridge catching on fire. It took me an extra 20 minutes to get to his place. My heart was slamming in my chest. Had it really been 2 weeks since we'd last seen each other? It felt like an eternity. All that frustration and angst were soon washed away when I appeared on his doorstep. I look up at him, my heart my melts, my stomach drops and he opens the door wider so I can slip in. Then it's all just a lovely blur.

We make chit-chat. I start to kick my shoes off. Ryan puts on a DVD. Tonight's feature presentation is "Signs." He can pretty much quote the whole movie. I snuggle up with him in his comfy, warm bed and we crack jokes the whole time. I've seen "Signs" before, so it's fun to just tear it apart. Ryan plays with my boobs throughout the movie which cause me to giggle. As payback, I slip my hands under his pants and stroke his erection. This was not a very productive movie night. But it was a fun way to get to second base! I seriously feel like we're horny teenagers, playing grab-ass for the first time. As soon as the movie's over, making out happens and soon it's blowjob central inside his room. I lighten the mood and just before I take him in my mouth, I whisper that I'd kill a homeless person in front of their own mother just to suck his dick. He chuckles and grabs a fistful of my hair, pulling it just enough to make me wince in pain. Strong-arm blowjobs are the best. "Do you like that?" he breathes. OF COURSE I DO!

He fucks me. He savagely fucks me. I ride him, too and love that he's not afraid to slap the shit out of my ass. He does this really hot thing where he rubs the spot he's about to spank. He strokes it, pulls his hand back and then I feel the stinging slap. The pain is electric and it makes me want to come so bad. I pray for hand-prints. I even pray for a bruise. I just want a sign that he was on me for the next morning. But maybe I pray too hard?

I'm seconds away from an explosive orgasm. All I need is one last crack from his hand. I can feel he's going to hit me hard. Well he does...but most of the blow lands squarely on his balls....only I don't know it yet. I come so hard and then I hear him groan loudly. Did we come together?? Ah nope. Ryan is recoiling in pain. He just slapped himself in the balls. We cool on the fun stuff and lay in bed talking.

I confess to him that I like him. I tease that maybe I like him a whole lot and he likes me none. He asks why I would say something like that. I don't have an answer. I do my best to memorize every little single detail of him, from his thick black hair, to his almond shaped dark brown eyes, to the curve of his narrow mouth, to his smooth chest and his hairy belly. I want to envelop every little part of him. I run my right index finger along his neck, kiss his ear and tell him I have a huge crush on him...that I wanted to do things right this time...that I didn't want to go too fast. He lays there, with a smug look on his face...or maybe he's amused? I can never tell. He never has anything to say back to me. He just smiles and kisses me in the dark.

We fall asleep around 1:30 am. He has to work the next morning. It takes a few minutes to adjust, but we both get comfortable and fall asleep. I smell his pillow. It smells like his hair, a deep male scent with the fragrance of shampoo. His roommate comes home around 2:30 am and starts to loudly play some records while she talks even louder to some stupid guy. Ryan sleeps through all of this as I fume. I didn't sleep right at all. I eventually fall asleep, though I am startled a couple times by the sound of Ryan sleep-chewing. He makes eating sounds while he sleeps! It's actually kinda cute. He doesn't snore, which is a relief.

We wake up around 8 am so he can get ready for work. Ryan gives me a few "good morning" pinches on the butt and I roll over ready to go at it again. I don't care if his roommate can hear us make the bed shake and creak. I got a "pearl necklace" out of it. HAHA!!!

I get dressed as he showers and read one his Playboy magazines, strictly for the articles. I avoid the pictures of big-breasted blondes. When he steps back into the room, he's about the most handsome sight I have ever seen. Tall, dark, pin-stripe pants, black dress shirt and a silver tie. His dress socks have holes in them, which I resolve to maybe fix on Christmas. "Maybe Santa should get you some socks?" I jokingly say. He agrees as he slips on his dress shoes. He wears a big, black overcoat to keep away the cold. I ask him to smile as I snap a picture on my phone. He refuses and looks away. I take the picture anyway and now he just looks like an old man. (sigh) Believe me, he was a vision. So handsome.



As we say goodbye on the street, he remembers my birthday plans and says he will let me know if he can make it this Friday. I would be the happiest 28 year old on the planet!

I stand at the corner of Echo Park and Scott with a goofy look on my face. I'm still in a daze from the wonderful night and morning I just had. I can taste him in my mouth. I feel sore in different places. I grin to myself. Suddenly a car honks at me and startles me from my day-dream. It's Ryan. He makes a right turn in front of me and waves. I stupidly try to wave back. He must've seen the school-girl crush in my eyes. Haha...I run back to my car as soon as the light turns green. I gotta get out of this cold and back to reality.

***

Stupid Rob keeps trying to strike up conversations with me on text. I don't play along and keep the conversation platonic. Lord only knows what goes on in the head of that boy. He's already confessed he thinks I'm hot and has always wanted to "feel on" me one last time. Dude, just break up with your girl already. You're fucking mental.

***

Jonathan, that dreamy boy I fucked last summer in Milwaukee, is engaged. The girl he's marrying is ideal for him. She's smart, quirky, cute in a Lisa Loeb kinda way. She likes fantasy football, helping others and uses words like "hubris" in her Facebook posts. Pretty sure I was the last girl he fucked before getting engaged. FANTASTIC. My vagina is still a good-luck charm.

***

Alfonso, my Boston hook-up, is perhaps taking my bait...

Me: Hey Alfonso! I know you're probably busy gearing up for your LA trip and your dance card must be filled with folks wanting to see you. I would enjoy seeing you while you're out here, at your convenience of course. Take care.
Alfonso: Cool. Yeah. I'll be in town for a bit over a week, so I'm sure there'll be some time. I'll ttul.
Me: Nice. I start my vacay on the 22nd, but with birthday/Xmas stuff, I don't think I'll be able to hang until after. Lemme know if the 26th would work. Have a safe flight!


All I need is to get him to my house while my mom is at work, then fuck the shit out of him. He deserves a do-over.

I've rationalized this. It isn't cheating on Ryan unless we're boyfriend/girlfriend. He confessed he hasn't had a real relationship since 2008. It feels like a huge task to take on and be the next "it" girl for him. At times, he feels impenetrable....emotionally that is. How does one land a guy like him? If only he knew, I'd give almost anything to be his girl.

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