The domino effect of everything going wrong started Friday night, the night Jose was finally supposed to meet my mom. The poor boy got massively lost and my mom was no help. She thought it would be better to loudly berate me for giving Jose bad directions, when in reality he was working off of his GPS. I gave up when he announced he was somewhere on the 5 Freeway. My mom dismissed the idea of meeting him and told me he should just drive home. It took everything in me not to toss my phone at her. I could already feel her resisting the idea of a new boy in my life. She squashed what little hope I had that she'd actually give the kid a chance.
Jose, needless to say, was supremely bummed. Not only did he already start off on the bad foot with my mom but he had lost his chance to see me before my trip. I reassured him there'd be plenty of chances to see me when I got back and that he still had many opportunities to make a good first impression on my mom.
***
I had no idea the magnitude Hurricane Sandy would turn out to be...Jose texted his concern:
The Deftones reference there at the end was cute. I was excited to see them....if only I could have known what was in store for me and Jay and the concert on Tuesday....
I landed in Newark, NJ last Saturday afternoon. As predicted, Terry and I were perfect on text message. He showed up to pick me up and we had pizza at a local place in Staten Island. We checked into my hotel and made ourselves comfortable on the huge king-sized bed with all the comfy pillows. ESPN was the channel of choice and it served as an adequate soundtrack as we started making out. I blew him and he came so easily. We fucked and then put our clothes back on (Terry doesn't like to be nude) to watch the rest of the sports news and listen to the howling wind of the approaching hurricane. By the end of the night, I was sick of the local news and wished I had never planned this stupid trip. Terry spent the night and then left for work the next morning. Here's one I snapped before he had to go...
I entertained myself the next day by texting Jose and dreaming that I wasn't 3,000 miles away. Did I feel guilty? Yeah, sooo much. By the time Terry returned that evening on Sunday, I had no desire to let him fuck me. I blew him with amazing precision and delighted in how adorable he sounded as he came. His voice must've gone up like 8 octaves hahaha! Anyway, Terry showed his true colors and announced he'd have to leave me for the night. He had a hockey game in New Jersey and insisted I call Jay in early to replace him. I grimaced at the thought of having Jay get too wrapped up in me ahead of schedule but the screaming and whistling of the wind outside convinced me that I needed company. I agreed and hit Jay up. He scrambled to get his stuff ready and was at my hotel within 2 hours.
AND THANK GOD. Thank God Almighty for Jason Matthew Hunt. Thank you, thank you God and Jesus and all the Saints in Heaven. THANK YOU.
As much as I resisted Jay all these years and particularly these last few months, I knew he'd eventually prove himself to be a worthy ally if given the right situation. I knew he was waiting for a moment to shine. Last August, he demonstrated he was an amazing lover. He sexed me and he made my brain mush. This October, he swooped in and was my hero. He was the Kevin Costner to my Whitney Houston (The Bodyguard? Come on!) Jay played the role of leader, savior and hurricane-fighter so well. He single-handedly saved my already ruined vacation.
So yeah, Sunday night he shows up at the door of my hotel room with a gym bag and lust burning in those perfect blue eyes. Jose was leagues away from my mind as Jay wraps me up in a tight hug and kisses me hard. We fuck for hours as hurricane coverage flickers on the screen of the TV. Every time I hear the wind rattle my windows, Jay is there to hold me close and tell me it's okay. The next morning, after another amazing fuck, he orders me to pack an overnight bag and we "evacuate" the hotel. He has a bad feeling as to the Holiday Inn's proximity to the ocean. We awkwardly set up camp in his bedroom and I force a smile at his lesbian mother. I meet his grandfather, too and both his dogs. We're all going to get really well acquainted.
The hurricane strikes Monday night. The sound of trees whipping and the sideways rain wakes me. Jay feels me stir and assures me it's okay. He wraps his arm around me and I sleep. The next morning, New York and New Jersey are devastated. My hotel is without power or hot water, as Jay predicted. Downed power lines. Trees uprooted. Water flooding main streets. No electricity. Chaos. The National Guard is called in. And we watch the TV cycle with bad news for hours.
Jay and I entertain ourselves by watching movies on his lap top, listening to music (mostly Deftones) and talking about every topic you can imagine. I tell him about my budding relationship with Jose. I can already hear the hint of jealousy in his voice. But it doesn't last long. As I confess my feelings of guilt, Jay is already kissing me on the corner of my lips. "You're so beautiful. I love your big, brown eyes" he whispers and I can't resist him any longer. I didn't resist him for days. The Deftones concert was cancelled and so was my flight home. He kept the tickets and promised to go when the show would be rescheduled. He never stopped wooing me, making me fall deeper under his spell. He called me ideal "wifey" material and that if the courthouses weren't closed because of the storm, he'd ask me to marry him. I drank it all in like it was wine. Like it was sweet poison for my heart. And he made me feel so warm and secure. I was cared for. I was coddled. He made home-cooked Italian meals since we couldn't go to a real restaurant. The tastiest pasta dish and juicy steaks the next day and I washed all the dishes. We handed out candy to the few tricker treaters that came to ring the doorbell on Halloween. We were playing house in the wake of the nastiest storm in almost a century. We even showered together when his mom would leave for work. He made me laugh to cheer me up about being stranded in New York. We sang along to rap music (Rick Ross, Drake, Kanye) in his Honda Civic. He'd kiss me every single chance he'd get. He'd dote on me. It was like sexual Stockholm Syndrome. I was the happiest indentured sex slave in the history of Staten Island!!
I was falling for him. And he had already fallen for me. Weeks ago.
All the while I'm giving one sentence answers to Jose via text. "Yes, I'm fine. I miss you too!". The cell service is terrible. Terry and I feel the blade swinging across our necks as Jay gets closer to me, as he raises an eyebrow to all of Terry's cryptic Facebook comments and posts.
Thursday afternoon, my last full day in Staten Island, we help clean out our friend Casey's basement. It had flooded during the hurricane. I got to see all my old friends and they all took a shine to seeing Jay and I as a sort-of couple. That night we celebrate the return of electricity to the island with a meal at Chili's, our first meal outside of his home. It's a bittersweet occasion as we both know I'm leaving the next day. Date night with Jay went splendidly and we talked so much. That night, we lay in bed together. I don't even know what we're talking about when suddenly he looks up at me and asks, "You love me don't you?"
And then it all stops. Time freezes. The Earth stands still. It's one of THOSE moments. I can't keep resisting.
"Yes." My voice quivers. I can feel tears. It's a deep affection. A feeling of gratitude. It's not the shit in love songs or romantic comedies. It's a respect. It's a love you can't fall out of.
"I love you, too" he says and he kisses me on my forehead. And the sex is amazing. I won't recount all the dirty (and amazing) things he whispers to me. Those I'll keep for myself. Those are just for me.
I have to break the spell, though. He has a right to know. With every second that ticks by as we get ready for bed, I know I have to tell him about Terry. And maybe it was stupid timing, but I blurted it out.
We then spent the next 3 hours arguing, going back and forth and forcing me to explain myself. He says he has half a mind to kick me out of his house and tell Terry to come get me. I was emotionally drained by the time it was all over. All I could tell him that this stupid hurricane changed everything. Whereas before, Jay had just been another hook-up...he had proved himself to be so much more in my life. And I was sorry. And I apologized for all of it, for all the back-stabbing. And I told him that it was Terry, not me, who wanted to come clean from the beginning. The betrayal hurt Jay so much...but he was glad I was finally honest. He would deal with Terry later. And for the first time in 6 nights together, we slept apart. We were on the same mattress, but felt miles away from each other.
The next morning I pack for my flight home. We talk some more and things settle. The love we feel for one another supersedes all the nonsense with Terry. There is no comparison. Jay goes back to kissing me and we have sex one last time. I miss him and I haven't even left yet.
We get to the airport and my flight's been pushed back another hour. We sit around and talk some more, mostly about how we're going to miss each other even more now. I blow him in the front seat and unexpectedly he finishes in my mouth. He had never before finished with a girl solely with a blowjob. He had once said he felt I'd be the first girl to make it happen. That if he ever did finish in a girl's mouth with none of his help, he'd marry her. I triumphantly wipe my mouth and look him straight in those gorgeous blue eyes, "Do you remember what you said?!" I squeak excitedly. He nods and laughs, offering me a high-five. That's one way to kill time at an airport, with a monumental blowjob that has us both wondering what it means. "Maybe it's the thrill of getting caught?" he muses and I laugh. I snap a few pictures before it's time to go.
Perfect movie-ending kiss at the airport. And that's it. Back to reality.
Terry and I discuss the fact that Jay knows the truth. I faced the guillotine and came out mostly unscathed. Now it's Terry's turn. And he has a lot to answer for. I apologized for ruining his friendship with Jay. At least the lying could end.
Jose and I reunited two days ago and life has gone back to normal for us. Our romance is growing with every passing hour. We exchanged presents and kissed so sweetly. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to tell him the details of my harrowing trip to New York or who I spent my nights with.
Maybe this is a second chance at something special. I've seen what could be possible with Jay and what I don't want with Terry.
Jose is like a new start. Like I paused the game and now I'm back in. I'm not forced into anything with him and it's all so easy. He's good for me. As Jay put it, Jose is better than him. Not only is he not long distance or complicated, he's with me.....and he has all the chances in the world to be my boyfriend....something Jay wishes every day he could have.
I'll do my best not to squander it, blue eyes. I promise.
