I count it as a victory if I've had a few shots of tequila and I don't immediately grab my phone to tell him I think he's fucking sexy. My hands twitch at the thought of it...
I need him. Bad. Bad. Bad. My next chance might be January 22nd but I don't want to bet on anything. I just take it one day at a time.
What bugs me is how much I've let Ed get under my skin. I obsessively check his Facebook profile for any changes or new pictures. I see his cousins post family pictures and it makes me smile to see him grinning like an idiot. Every fragment or morsel of information makes the disgusting stalker inside of me feel giddy. It's just so gross. I want to not like him so much...I want to not care about him but it's hard.
He has a slight lisp when he talks, especially when he's excited or talking fast. I keep screaming in my head that it's not adorable. It feels useless to do so.
I found an old picture of us, taken on Friday March 31st 2006 in (where else?) a Starbucks during Spring Break:
We look weird together. Happy? But weird.
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