Ever since Valentine's Day, I've noticed Ryan has taken up to liking several of my posts on Facebook. This weekend alone he liked two and commented on one particular status update...
Me: Wanderlust. Bring on the hot man Paul Rudd!
Ryan Lopez boo jennifer! haha
Saturday at 5:55pm ·
Yeah, I know...it doesn't really mean anything, at least not in a man's mind...but in a woman's mind, your thoughts go wild and rampant...Oh! He must like me! HE MUST! HE CAN'T GET ME OFF HIS MIND!! *swoon* *sighhhh*
Little scraps of attention to keep me going....to stave off hopelessness and convince myself that deep down in the crevices of his rotten heart, he still holds a dying ember of fondness for me. I was being the strong one and not commenting or liking any of his crap...then finally I couldn't resist and said something in regards to Mormons...then I hit him up on chat last night...at least it wasn't an open invitation to sex!
Me: hey stranger
Ryan: yo. I'm mad right now. i just got home. theater keys still in my pocket. i have to go back. now i lose my parking space!
Me: ohhh :(
Ryan: :(
Me: go on then, don't let me bother you
Ryan: it's ok. I'm over it. i need to change my clothes
Me: i hate when that happens, when you're supposed to close and you leave...its always a nasty sinking feeling in your stomach
Ryan: i need a better job. this one is bullshit. but yea i know that feeling and fucking gas SUCKS right now
Me: gas is fucking BANANAS. nearly 50 bucks to fill up my car. i havent driven further than montebello in weeks
Ryan: fuck! i dont want to go back!!! just shoot me right now. hahaha
Me: I'd never. though you'd make a handsome corpse
Ryan: hehe
Me: but yeah I'M SORRY. hang in there chap
Ryan: Thanks
Me: we all have to go through a mile of shit before we get to the good times. maybe yours is like 20 miles...i dunno how far culver city is
Ryan: 15 miles
Me: i wanna see you...soonish. like...to cheer you up.
Ryan: :) i need me a teleporter haha
Me: lol silly. you know i'll drive that ridiculous distance from east LA to echo park lol
Ryan: soooo faaar
Me: light years. so no need for teleportation...yet!
Ryan: hehe
Me: so yeah...lemme know
Ryan: I will
Me: :)
Ryan: now i have to put a shirt on and go back to work! i had a good parking spot too. FUUUUUUCK
Me: if its still there, then it was meant to be. and remember, no matter how bad it gets...there's a girl who would kill a homeless person, infront of their own mother, just to suck your dick. :) ME!
Ryan: ;)
Me: bye bye
Ryan: byee
Okay, okay..fine...so it turned into an open invitation for sex, there at the end....but I can't help it! Ryan reduces me to mush...I lose all power in my right hand, I slip on my grip...I want to consume him every single day...there's a nagging piece inside of me that still believes he's my ideal...if only he'd want me back. Just a fraction of how I want him. And so I suffer, as usual. I know he won't find me....he never does...something tells me I won't be able to break him as a habit. I'd drop everything just for a kiss, a hug, his lips all over me. Ughhh. FUCK.
I went to bed not thinking much of the conversation...
At 11:06 pm, I'm startled from a restless sleep. My phone is ringing. My heart starts pounding.
....it's Ryan.
"Is everything alright?" I sleepily ask.
"Yeah, just dropped off the keys....uh, were you asleep?"
We chat for a bit...but really, it's me listening to him talk, half-awake. At one point I ask if I'm dreaming. Ryan laughs and says he'll let me get back to bed. And that's it.
I apologize the next day for falling asleep on him. He doesn't text back. Oh well. Back to the grind.
My girlfriends and I are planning a trip to New York City in August. We're set to buy our air fare this month. I've already informed Jay, who is practically nutting himself at the prospect of having me in his zip code again. I must admit, I am a little morbidly curious to see him again. Maybe I should settle down in Staten Island and live my days out being worshiped by my own version of Kevin James (King of Queens, anyone?). It sure beats getting crumbs of affection from a slacker, Mexican hipster.
No Getting Laid Lent: 13 days down, 27 to go.
Yeah, I know...it doesn't really mean anything, at least not in a man's mind...but in a woman's mind, your thoughts go wild and rampant...Oh! He must like me! HE MUST! HE CAN'T GET ME OFF HIS MIND!! *swoon* *sighhhh*
Little scraps of attention to keep me going....to stave off hopelessness and convince myself that deep down in the crevices of his rotten heart, he still holds a dying ember of fondness for me. I was being the strong one and not commenting or liking any of his crap...then finally I couldn't resist and said something in regards to Mormons...then I hit him up on chat last night...at least it wasn't an open invitation to sex!
Me: hey stranger
Ryan: yo. I'm mad right now. i just got home. theater keys still in my pocket. i have to go back. now i lose my parking space!
Me: ohhh :(
Ryan: :(
Me: go on then, don't let me bother you
Ryan: it's ok. I'm over it. i need to change my clothes
Me: i hate when that happens, when you're supposed to close and you leave...its always a nasty sinking feeling in your stomach
Ryan: i need a better job. this one is bullshit. but yea i know that feeling and fucking gas SUCKS right now
Me: gas is fucking BANANAS. nearly 50 bucks to fill up my car. i havent driven further than montebello in weeks
Ryan: fuck! i dont want to go back!!! just shoot me right now. hahaha
Me: I'd never. though you'd make a handsome corpse
Ryan: hehe
Me: but yeah I'M SORRY. hang in there chap
Ryan: Thanks
Me: we all have to go through a mile of shit before we get to the good times. maybe yours is like 20 miles...i dunno how far culver city is
Ryan: 15 miles
Me: i wanna see you...soonish. like...to cheer you up.
Ryan: :) i need me a teleporter haha
Me: lol silly. you know i'll drive that ridiculous distance from east LA to echo park lol
Ryan: soooo faaar
Me: light years. so no need for teleportation...yet!
Ryan: hehe
Me: so yeah...lemme know
Ryan: I will
Me: :)
Ryan: now i have to put a shirt on and go back to work! i had a good parking spot too. FUUUUUUCK
Me: if its still there, then it was meant to be. and remember, no matter how bad it gets...there's a girl who would kill a homeless person, infront of their own mother, just to suck your dick. :) ME!
Ryan: ;)
Me: bye bye
Ryan: byee
Okay, okay..fine...so it turned into an open invitation for sex, there at the end....but I can't help it! Ryan reduces me to mush...I lose all power in my right hand, I slip on my grip...I want to consume him every single day...there's a nagging piece inside of me that still believes he's my ideal...if only he'd want me back. Just a fraction of how I want him. And so I suffer, as usual. I know he won't find me....he never does...something tells me I won't be able to break him as a habit. I'd drop everything just for a kiss, a hug, his lips all over me. Ughhh. FUCK.
I went to bed not thinking much of the conversation...
At 11:06 pm, I'm startled from a restless sleep. My phone is ringing. My heart starts pounding.
....it's Ryan.
"Is everything alright?" I sleepily ask.
"Yeah, just dropped off the keys....uh, were you asleep?"
We chat for a bit...but really, it's me listening to him talk, half-awake. At one point I ask if I'm dreaming. Ryan laughs and says he'll let me get back to bed. And that's it.
I apologize the next day for falling asleep on him. He doesn't text back. Oh well. Back to the grind.
My girlfriends and I are planning a trip to New York City in August. We're set to buy our air fare this month. I've already informed Jay, who is practically nutting himself at the prospect of having me in his zip code again. I must admit, I am a little morbidly curious to see him again. Maybe I should settle down in Staten Island and live my days out being worshiped by my own version of Kevin James (King of Queens, anyone?). It sure beats getting crumbs of affection from a slacker, Mexican hipster.
No Getting Laid Lent: 13 days down, 27 to go.
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