We are ready for the siege. We are armed up to the teeth

Again. It's all happening too fast.

Saturday morning, Dan and I decide to hang out before he has to get to work. I have the house all to myself and we have a little fun, the kind of fun that won't result in making a baby and thus keep his Mormon faith intact. I enjoyed myself and I know he did, too. As I watched him pack his stuff up to start a full day of work, we talked and joked around. He zips up his laptop carrier and glances over at me, "So Three Bean, are you doing anything today? Do you want to come to work with me again?" I smile and politely decline. I've got prior arrangements but it hurt me to say no. Ughhh....I really wanted to spend time with him...but more than anything, I wanted to say yes. The simple gesture of desiring to spend time with me, that....that's the good stuff. That's what I want most. And I see he's remembered one of his favorite nicknames for me...hahha, oh, Three Bean.

Ryan doesn't give me that. Ryan only wants me around if it's convenient to him. He'd never ask to spend the day with me. And so I realize that my feelings for him are woefully misguided. I don't love him. I love the idea of wanting to love him and someday domesticating him. But you can't trap a crazy, metal head like that. Dan maybe....but not Ryan. (sigh)

In other news, Alfonso has finally set a date for his return:

"bought my ticket to go back to LA today. I'll be there in 1 month and counting!"

First of June. Let the freak out begin. I don't....even....know..where....to....start.

***

My best friend Lauren's birthday party is this Saturday, coincidentally on Cinco de Mayo. Worlds are colliding.

Just got confirmation that Ryan will be there, fashionably late, but definitely there. He messaged me just now on FB, wondering if I'll be there and if I want to take a ride on his "transatlantic dong" after the party. We all know what that means.
Dan says he might go. He needs to check his schedule, he says. I wonder if that means no? Hmmm.

I had mentioned to Dan that Ryan might be at the party. I asked, jokingly, if there was going to be a fight over my heart. Dan laughed and said he'd pack a knife. GULP.

Complete coverage of this and more, on the next thrilling episode of  "Guess Who's In My Box" !!!!

dun dun....dun!!!!